Have a cup of tea and a choccy biccy.
Now have a lovely hot bath before throwing your poop into the street, catching bubonic plague and invading several smaller African countries, declaring that the "natives are restless".
Oh and don't forget to be all coy, yet arrogant and passive-aggressive. And complain lots, but don't do anything about it.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Farting Preacher
This is an absolutely genius piece of editing...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744
Word Of The Day
repast \rih-PAST\, noun:
Something taken as food; a meal.
This repast could scarcely have been digested before a "tea" of fresh bread, butter, cheese, cold meat, and cake was served at half past six.
--Joan Druett, Hen Frigates
On June 1, 1563, in Basel, Thomas sat down to a meal, probably the evening repast.
--Emmanuel Le Roy Ladurie, The Beggar and the Professor (translated by Arthur Goldhammer)
When staying with friends in America in 1949, the philosopher demanded bread and cheese at all meals. Every time the dull repast was laid before him, he would exclaim, as if for the first time, "Hot diggetty!", a phrase he had picked up from the movies.
--Bee Wilson, "Stomach tracts," New Statesman, January 8, 1999
Repast comes from Old French repaistre, "to feed," from Latin re- + pascere, "to feed." It is related to pasture, "the grass grown for the feeding of grazing animals, or the land used for grazing."
Something taken as food; a meal.
This repast could scarcely have been digested before a "tea" of fresh bread, butter, cheese, cold meat, and cake was served at half past six.
--Joan Druett, Hen Frigates
On June 1, 1563, in Basel, Thomas sat down to a meal, probably the evening repast.
--Emmanuel Le Roy Ladurie, The Beggar and the Professor (translated by Arthur Goldhammer)
When staying with friends in America in 1949, the philosopher demanded bread and cheese at all meals. Every time the dull repast was laid before him, he would exclaim, as if for the first time, "Hot diggetty!", a phrase he had picked up from the movies.
--Bee Wilson, "Stomach tracts," New Statesman, January 8, 1999
Repast comes from Old French repaistre, "to feed," from Latin re- + pascere, "to feed." It is related to pasture, "the grass grown for the feeding of grazing animals, or the land used for grazing."
Friday, November 11, 2005
The 50 greatest independent films
I've seen 43 of these. I am so proud of myself.
http://www.empireonline.co.uk/features/50greatestindependent/50-41.asp
http://www.empireonline.co.uk/features/50greatestindependent/50-41.asp
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Mrs "Munster" Bush
What the hell is up with Mrs Bush?
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1712262
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1712262
Powerful Versus
In case you've been living under a rock (or still think reading is where it's at), you may have missed the biggest trend in film since Jar Jar Binks heralded a new age in make-believe annoyance. I'm talking, of course, about versus movies.
Freddy Vs. Jason and Alien Vs. Predator were just the dual tips of this exceedingly idiotic iceberg. The versus genre - showcasing the art form of taking two iconic characters (or concepts) and forcefully smooshing them into a film that the American public will eat up like candy is hot. Not since the heyday of Godzilla, has the versus genre sent movie execs into a state of latte-induced foaming of the mouth. So, in my bid to cash in on this imbecilic trend, I give you five more versus movies that at least 125,000 people will probably pay to see.
http://www.thecheappop.com/vs.html
Freddy Vs. Jason and Alien Vs. Predator were just the dual tips of this exceedingly idiotic iceberg. The versus genre - showcasing the art form of taking two iconic characters (or concepts) and forcefully smooshing them into a film that the American public will eat up like candy is hot. Not since the heyday of Godzilla, has the versus genre sent movie execs into a state of latte-induced foaming of the mouth. So, in my bid to cash in on this imbecilic trend, I give you five more versus movies that at least 125,000 people will probably pay to see.
http://www.thecheappop.com/vs.html
Baby Scan Pictures
Maybe I will feel differntly one day but I have to tell you, I hate baby scan pictures. The proud parents are all like, oooh, oooh, look look at its little hands, and I am always thinking, dear god, that's a half-formed freakazoid alien. Kinda like when Jeff Goldblum puts the monkey in the teleporter in the remake of the fly and it emerges in the other pod inside-out, just before it explodes.
Babies - real babies are another matter, but what's so cute about a 3 1/2 month blob? Might as well cuddle my chicken eggs - before I turn them into a lovely omlette. Mmm omlettes.
I'm hungry.
Babies - real babies are another matter, but what's so cute about a 3 1/2 month blob? Might as well cuddle my chicken eggs - before I turn them into a lovely omlette. Mmm omlettes.
I'm hungry.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Doh Doh Doh
Agence France Presse published a photo of Katrina hurricane victim Latesha Vinette holding her new Red Cross debit card, a picture that was instantly redistributed on Yahoo! News and other wire service web sites. Shockingly, the balance on the card dropped to ZERO within minutes, as hundreds of fraudsters went on shopping sprees with the card number. A few hours later, Vinette was paged over the Reliant stadium speaker system to receive a call from Mastercard, which wanted to know about cash-advance requests totaling $65,237, and attempts to use the card to buy a Ferrari and hundreds of other goods on eBay.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Games Update
Thing Thing 2 - Much better than Thing Thing - side scrolling death and mayhem aplenty.
Submachine - very annoying, but I bet you can't stop playing.
Stickman Sam 2 - More side scrolling death and mayhem.
Submachine - very annoying, but I bet you can't stop playing.
Stickman Sam 2 - More side scrolling death and mayhem.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
How To Deal With Telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . ." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are
you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you
BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
Actually this one I use myself...
12. Ask them to hold on, then just leave the phone off the hook and go do something more interesting.
Just like the indian restaurant trick recently performed on Radio One, I wonder if it's possible to get two telemarketers talking to each other on the phone, trying to sell each other their own shit?
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . ." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are
you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you
BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
Actually this one I use myself...
12. Ask them to hold on, then just leave the phone off the hook and go do something more interesting.
Just like the indian restaurant trick recently performed on Radio One, I wonder if it's possible to get two telemarketers talking to each other on the phone, trying to sell each other their own shit?
Made-up Words In The Simpsons
Several memes, words and phrases (often neologisms) that started on The Simpsons television series have now become mainstream words or sayings. The most famous of which is Homer's saying: "D'oh!", which is referred to in scripts, as well as several episode names, as "annoyed grunt". D'oh is now listed in the Oxford English Dictionary and even in smaller ones such as OUP's one volume Oxford Dictionary of English (second edition). Other memes are:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made-up_words_in_The_Simpsons
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made-up_words_in_The_Simpsons
Waiter, there’s a diamond in my drink
Had a win at bingo recently? For the ultimate in extravagance, get down to the Sheraton Park Tower’s Piano Bar and order what is possibly the most bling drink on the planet – the Louis XIII Diamond Cocktail.
Dubbed "London’s Most Exclusive" the Cognac and Champagne cocktail is served in a crystal martini glass and garnished with … wait for it - a individually selected diamond. So how much will this display of fabulous-ness set you back? Well, it depends on the size of the rock, but you won’t get much change out of £4,000 for a one-carat diamond. And if that’s not enough, larger diamonds can be ordered in advance.
Louis XIII Diamond Cocktail Ingredients
Shot of Remy Martin Louis XIII
Charles Heidsieck Champagne
2 drops of Angostura bitters
1 sugar cube
A fabulous diamond or distinctive item of jewellery
The Piano Bar, Sheraton Park Tower, 101 Knightsbridge SW1
Dubbed "London’s Most Exclusive" the Cognac and Champagne cocktail is served in a crystal martini glass and garnished with … wait for it - a individually selected diamond. So how much will this display of fabulous-ness set you back? Well, it depends on the size of the rock, but you won’t get much change out of £4,000 for a one-carat diamond. And if that’s not enough, larger diamonds can be ordered in advance.
Louis XIII Diamond Cocktail Ingredients
Shot of Remy Martin Louis XIII
Charles Heidsieck Champagne
2 drops of Angostura bitters
1 sugar cube
A fabulous diamond or distinctive item of jewellery
The Piano Bar, Sheraton Park Tower, 101 Knightsbridge SW1
Smoking is EVIL
On the train station platform this morning I was standing waiting for my train, having a cigarette and a little woman walks up to me and thrusts a leaflet at me, asking if I would like to read it. I didn't take it and I could see from the cover that it was a religious-based stop smoking leaflet. I politely said no, thank you, and she went off to wait for her train. I forgot my iPod this morning and walked right past the Metro stand, even though I was well early enough to get one, and therefore didn't have anything to read. So, after I finished me fag, I went and found the woman again and asked her for the leaflet. I figured it would at least give me something to read on the train.
So, according to the leaflet, which is distributed by the Apostolic Faith Mission (UK) on behalf of the Apostolic Faith Church in Oregon, USA, smoking is a sin, and cigarettes are the work of the devil. Seemingly in the same way that the temptation of eating is too great, but you don't see christians flogging themselves with birch branches for gobbling down a slice of toast or two do you?
http://www.apostolicfaith.org
Excert from the website:
"Just as the gauges on the dashboard alert us to impending problems, God alerts us to areas in our spiritual lives that need attention."
Do you hear that? God is your oil-warning light.
So, according to the leaflet, which is distributed by the Apostolic Faith Mission (UK) on behalf of the Apostolic Faith Church in Oregon, USA, smoking is a sin, and cigarettes are the work of the devil. Seemingly in the same way that the temptation of eating is too great, but you don't see christians flogging themselves with birch branches for gobbling down a slice of toast or two do you?
http://www.apostolicfaith.org
Excert from the website:
"Just as the gauges on the dashboard alert us to impending problems, God alerts us to areas in our spiritual lives that need attention."
Do you hear that? God is your oil-warning light.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Kill Me Please
Adam Sandler
Kill Me
[spoken]
Ok, I just want to warn you that when I wrote this song I was listening to the Cure a lot.
[sung]
You don’t know how much I need you.
While you’re near me I don’t feel blue.
And when we kiss I know that you need me too.
I can’t believe I found a love that’s so pure and true.
But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddam joke.
And when I think of you linda,
I hope you fucking choke.
I hope you’re glad with what you’ve done to me.
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly.
Oh somebody kill me please,
Somebody kill me plee-ase,
I’m on my knees,
Pretty pretty please kill me.
I want to die.
Put a bullet in my head.
Kill Me
[spoken]
Ok, I just want to warn you that when I wrote this song I was listening to the Cure a lot.
[sung]
You don’t know how much I need you.
While you’re near me I don’t feel blue.
And when we kiss I know that you need me too.
I can’t believe I found a love that’s so pure and true.
But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddam joke.
And when I think of you linda,
I hope you fucking choke.
I hope you’re glad with what you’ve done to me.
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly.
Oh somebody kill me please,
Somebody kill me plee-ase,
I’m on my knees,
Pretty pretty please kill me.
I want to die.
Put a bullet in my head.
Buffy in the Buff? Sarah Michelle Gellar to Play Porn Star
Sarah Michelle Gellar will ditch her good girl film image and dive into the world of porn in an upcoming film titled "Southland Tales." The UK Sun reports the Buffy the Vampire Slayer actress will play "busty blonde Krysta Now in the saucy project, Southland Tales."
The movie will also star The Rock, Seann William Scott, Jon Lovitz, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Smith and Mandy Moore.
So, Buffy in the buff? Easy fellas, that's still not clear.
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_2726881.shtml
Would now be a good time to remind everybody of the famous (infamous) "You can put it anywhere" line?
The movie will also star The Rock, Seann William Scott, Jon Lovitz, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Smith and Mandy Moore.
So, Buffy in the buff? Easy fellas, that's still not clear.
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_2726881.shtml
Would now be a good time to remind everybody of the famous (infamous) "You can put it anywhere" line?
Hyperframe
You'll have to sit through an annoying ad first, but live with it, Hyperframe rocks. A 3d puzzle game, where you connect lines up on the cube. Gets increasingly hard, but wonderfully done, complete with amusingly crappy vocodered music.
http://www.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=hyperframe
http://www.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=hyperframe
Forces Of Nature - The Tornado
Heh, over on the National Geographic website you can create your own adverse weather conditions and watch as the generated tornado rips farmyards into tiny splinters.
For a more accurate representation of the damage caused by tornados it's a pity they didn't do a version ripping through a trailer park.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/forcesofnature/interactive/index.html?section=t
For a more accurate representation of the damage caused by tornados it's a pity they didn't do a version ripping through a trailer park.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/forcesofnature/interactive/index.html?section=t
Monday, September 26, 2005
URL ingenuity
Does exactly what it says on the tin. You don't understand? Click the link, then you will.
Needs sound.
http://www.iiiiiiii.com/
Needs sound.
http://www.iiiiiiii.com/
Hyperframe
This game is incredibly addictive - like smoking, don't start. It's like much like a rubiks cube, but interesting and amusing, and unlike a rubiks cube it won't end up in pieces in the corner.
(And no, you can't take the stickers off.)
http://www.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=hyperframe
(And no, you can't take the stickers off.)
http://www.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=hyperframe
Dew
As I walked to work down the small hill from Syon Lane station this morning the grass on the huge playing field of the school next to the station was shimmering a silvery green - the heavy dew brought the coolness of autumn and that fresh, clean, crisp smell that I remember so well from my own school days.
PE on such a school morning was well looked forward to. The knowledge that it's not too cold, not too hot, the transition from the athletics of the summer gave way to the football and hockey of the autumn - less sedate, more team-based activities in the September sun. Somebody was going to get smacked with a hockey ball, my shoes would be covered in mud, and my books would smell of grass and sweat for the rest of the day.
September I remember as an early waking month. Back to school at the start, the later in the month my dad would wake me up early to go to the school playing fields and collect mushrooms for his breakfast. Some morning I would get up early to forage for conkers from the huge horse chestnut tree opposite my house. There would be rich pickings after the nightly winds and the other kids would be jealous of my huge bag of bullseyes. Each of these activities involved walking over the early morning grass and having my school shoes wet and covered in fresh dew.
That's just what I wanted to do this morning - walk from one side of that field to the other, shuffling my feet, getting them as wet as possible. Then for the rest of the day, as I feel my shoes dry off, I can be safe in my knowledge that I lived a little this morning.
Why is it that so many good memories seem to be only triggered by tiny, infrequent occurrences. Why can't I have that dewy freshness every morning?
Tommy
PE on such a school morning was well looked forward to. The knowledge that it's not too cold, not too hot, the transition from the athletics of the summer gave way to the football and hockey of the autumn - less sedate, more team-based activities in the September sun. Somebody was going to get smacked with a hockey ball, my shoes would be covered in mud, and my books would smell of grass and sweat for the rest of the day.
September I remember as an early waking month. Back to school at the start, the later in the month my dad would wake me up early to go to the school playing fields and collect mushrooms for his breakfast. Some morning I would get up early to forage for conkers from the huge horse chestnut tree opposite my house. There would be rich pickings after the nightly winds and the other kids would be jealous of my huge bag of bullseyes. Each of these activities involved walking over the early morning grass and having my school shoes wet and covered in fresh dew.
That's just what I wanted to do this morning - walk from one side of that field to the other, shuffling my feet, getting them as wet as possible. Then for the rest of the day, as I feel my shoes dry off, I can be safe in my knowledge that I lived a little this morning.
Why is it that so many good memories seem to be only triggered by tiny, infrequent occurrences. Why can't I have that dewy freshness every morning?
Tommy
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Nude New Zealand MP takes stroll
Wearing nothing but copious amounts of body paint and a pair of pants, a New Zealand politician has taken a stroll through Auckland.
Green Party MP Keith Locke had pledged to strip off if Act Party leader Rodney Hide won the seat of his constituency.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4280316.stm
Green Party MP Keith Locke had pledged to strip off if Act Party leader Rodney Hide won the seat of his constituency.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4280316.stm
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Pain in the English
Look, look - a site dedicated to people being all up and anal about the many and varied uses of the english language.
Mike and Phil, you're going to love it.
http://www.painintheenglish.com/default.asp
Mike and Phil, you're going to love it.
http://www.painintheenglish.com/default.asp
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Internet maps reveal Roman villa
And again with the google wonderousness...
Latest technology proved an unexpected aid to unearthing the past when an Italian man decided to look at internet maps of his home.
Computer programmer Luca Mori found the remains of an ancient Roman villa when he browsed Google Earth maps showing satellite images of his local area.
His curiosity was sparked by unusual shading by his home in Sorbolo, Parma.
He contacted local archaeologists who investigated and confirmed it was once the location of a Roman villa.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4267238.stm
Latest technology proved an unexpected aid to unearthing the past when an Italian man decided to look at internet maps of his home.
Computer programmer Luca Mori found the remains of an ancient Roman villa when he browsed Google Earth maps showing satellite images of his local area.
His curiosity was sparked by unusual shading by his home in Sorbolo, Parma.
He contacted local archaeologists who investigated and confirmed it was once the location of a Roman villa.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4267238.stm
Balls of Steel
What do you do when the landing gear on your plane won't lock down? Have someone on the ground in a jeep pace the plane and beat it into place with a stick!
(Whilst it's flying 10 feet above the runway, and your' underneath it in a jeep)
Holy crap this is ballsy.
http://www.wftv.com/video/4983089/detail.html
(Whilst it's flying 10 feet above the runway, and your' underneath it in a jeep)
Holy crap this is ballsy.
http://www.wftv.com/video/4983089/detail.html
Ji Lee's got a good schtick going - he takes speech bubble stickers and plasters 'em on posters and signs... then comes back later to photograph what people have written in 'em.
Speech Bubbles
Speech Bubbles
Google saves baby's life.
Jesus, google IS taking over the world, I swear.
Howard and Melissa of Boca Raton, Florida found out first hand that the Internet can be a powerful tool for parents. A few weeks after they brought their premature twins, Andrew and Carly, home from the hospital Andrew had to be admitted to the ER. The doctors told them that the baby had a serious problem, that his hemoglobin levels had dropped from 14 (at birth) to 7. The doctors wanted to do an emergency blood transfusion immediately. Using his cell phone, Howard used Google to search for "hemoglobin" and "premature infant." The results were surprising. He found a medical journal article which said that it’s normal for preemie twins to have a drop in their hemoglobin levels during the first three months.
Howard gave the link to the doctors, and they spent a few hours researching it. When they returned, they "sheepishly admitted that our son was indeed fine - no treatment was necessary…Google literally saved our newborn son from having to endure an extremely dangerous, and totally unnecessary, blood transfusion."
http://www.bloggingbaby.com/entry/1234000620059549/
Howard and Melissa of Boca Raton, Florida found out first hand that the Internet can be a powerful tool for parents. A few weeks after they brought their premature twins, Andrew and Carly, home from the hospital Andrew had to be admitted to the ER. The doctors told them that the baby had a serious problem, that his hemoglobin levels had dropped from 14 (at birth) to 7. The doctors wanted to do an emergency blood transfusion immediately. Using his cell phone, Howard used Google to search for "hemoglobin" and "premature infant." The results were surprising. He found a medical journal article which said that it’s normal for preemie twins to have a drop in their hemoglobin levels during the first three months.
Howard gave the link to the doctors, and they spent a few hours researching it. When they returned, they "sheepishly admitted that our son was indeed fine - no treatment was necessary…Google literally saved our newborn son from having to endure an extremely dangerous, and totally unnecessary, blood transfusion."
http://www.bloggingbaby.com/entry/1234000620059549/
Artists erect giant pink bunny on mountain
An enormous pink bunny has been erected on an Italian mountainside where it will stay for the next 20 years.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1541732.html
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1541732.html
Historic Cities
We would like Historic Cities a site to be a meeting place for the lovers of historic cities and to function as a virtual archive, which will constantly develop and grow. The content will be loaded gradually: first we will load several hundreds of high quality city maps which we scanned, and brief documented histories of some of the most important cities.
Is your city listed? Mine is!
http://historic-cities.huji.ac.il/
Is your city listed? Mine is!
http://historic-cities.huji.ac.il/
Death by Coke Machine
And what not to do when hacking a coke machine...
This site is dedicated to our dear son and brother Kevin Mackle, who was found dead in his Residence at Kuehner Hall, Bishop's University, Lennoxville Quebec on December 13th 1998, a day of sorrow for us, his family. A toppled Vendo Model Coca-Cola Machine crushed him. It was put in place, unsecured, by the Beaver Foods Company. On October 19th 1999, almost a year after Kevin's death, the Quebec Coroner, Dr. Rene Maurice Belanger issued a Coroner's Report on what he considered to be the facts of the case.
He really doesn't look like he needed any more sugary carbonated drinks.
http://www.cokemachineaccidents.com/
This site is dedicated to our dear son and brother Kevin Mackle, who was found dead in his Residence at Kuehner Hall, Bishop's University, Lennoxville Quebec on December 13th 1998, a day of sorrow for us, his family. A toppled Vendo Model Coca-Cola Machine crushed him. It was put in place, unsecured, by the Beaver Foods Company. On October 19th 1999, almost a year after Kevin's death, the Quebec Coroner, Dr. Rene Maurice Belanger issued a Coroner's Report on what he considered to be the facts of the case.
He really doesn't look like he needed any more sugary carbonated drinks.
http://www.cokemachineaccidents.com/
How To Hack A Soda Machine
How To Hack A Soda Machine. Most modern soda machines have little computers in them. The tiny RED LCD usually displays the data. The computer can be controlled by using certain buttons on the soda machine in different combinations. This can be used to check the temperature, see the amount of money (load and dump), and dump certain sodas. Will usually only work on newer machines that look like the one on the right. They need to have an LCD and also need to have some type of message on it "ICE COLD SODAS" This tells you it is running something.
http://www.sahaskatta.com/html/hacks_3.html
http://www.sahaskatta.com/html/hacks_3.html
The humble banana - on crash course toward extinction
The banana as we know it is on a crash course toward extinction. For scientists, the battle to resuscitate the world’s favorite fruit has begun—a race against time that just may be too late to win.
http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/5a4d4c3ee4d05010vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html
http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/5a4d4c3ee4d05010vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html
NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow
It was a bloody silly idea in the first place, but New Zealand's badminton world may finally have to concede that calling the national team the "Black Cocks" really is a bit too strong, the New Zealand Herald reports.
Badminton New Zealand adopted the name a year ago as "a gimmicky label to attract sponsors and fans". It worked to a degree, because the organisation was quickly innundated with cash offers from companies such as - you guessed it - condom manufacturers.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/15/nz_badminton_kerfuffle/
Badminton New Zealand adopted the name a year ago as "a gimmicky label to attract sponsors and fans". It worked to a degree, because the organisation was quickly innundated with cash offers from companies such as - you guessed it - condom manufacturers.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/15/nz_badminton_kerfuffle/
Monday, September 19, 2005
Man's static jacket sparks alert
An Australian man built up so much static electricity in his clothes as he walked that he burned carpets, melted plastic and sparked a mass evacuation.
Frank Clewer, of the western Victorian city of Warrnambool, was wearing a synthetic nylon jacket and a woollen shirt when he went for a job interview.
As he walked into the building, the carpet ignited from the 40,000 volts of static electricity that had built up.
"It sounded almost like a firecracker or something like that," he said.
"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt," he told Australian radio.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4252692.stm
Frank Clewer, of the western Victorian city of Warrnambool, was wearing a synthetic nylon jacket and a woollen shirt when he went for a job interview.
As he walked into the building, the carpet ignited from the 40,000 volts of static electricity that had built up.
"It sounded almost like a firecracker or something like that," he said.
"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt," he told Australian radio.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4252692.stm
Maggie Thatcher
Whilst looking at the BBC news website, I found a recent picture of Maggie Thatcher. Now is it just my imagination, or is she really starting to look like her Spitting Image puppet?
Maggie Thatcher
Spitting Image Puppet
Maggie Thatcher
Spitting Image Puppet
Word Of The Day
Word of the Day for Monday September 19, 2005
immure \ih-MYUR\, transitive verb:
--Peter Pierce, "The Fiction of Gabrielle Lord," Australian Literary Studies, October 1999
True, there was a Mughal emperor in Delhi until 1857, but he was emperor in name only, the shadow of a memory, described by Lord Macaulay as 'a mock sovereign immured in a gorgeous state prison'.
--Anthony Read, The Proudest Day
When I tried to think clearly about this, I felt that my mind was immured, that it couldn't expand in any direction.
--Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon
Immured by privilege in a way of life that offered little scope, army wives were often enfeebled by boredom.
--Frances Spalding, Duncan Grant: A Biography
Immure comes from Medieval Latin immurare, from Latin in-, "in" + murus, "wall." It is related to mural, a painting applied to a wall.
Synonyms: cloister; imprison; incarcerate.
immure \ih-MYUR\, transitive verb:
- To enclose within walls, or as if within walls; hence, to shut up; to imprison; to incarcerate.
- To build into a wall.
- To entomb in a wall.
--Peter Pierce, "The Fiction of Gabrielle Lord," Australian Literary Studies, October 1999
True, there was a Mughal emperor in Delhi until 1857, but he was emperor in name only, the shadow of a memory, described by Lord Macaulay as 'a mock sovereign immured in a gorgeous state prison'.
--Anthony Read, The Proudest Day
When I tried to think clearly about this, I felt that my mind was immured, that it couldn't expand in any direction.
--Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon
Immured by privilege in a way of life that offered little scope, army wives were often enfeebled by boredom.
--Frances Spalding, Duncan Grant: A Biography
Immure comes from Medieval Latin immurare, from Latin in-, "in" + murus, "wall." It is related to mural, a painting applied to a wall.
Synonyms: cloister; imprison; incarcerate.
c-jump: Ski & Snowboard Race
Discover fundamentals of computer programming by playing a board game!
c-jump helps children to learn basics of programming languages, such as C, C++ and Java.
You know I want this, right?
http://www.c-jump.com/
Oh, and by the way, whilst I am talking about baord games, if there's anyone out there who could possibly explain the rules to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer boardgame, could you please take some time to explain it to me, because I paid 20p for it at a car boot sale and I am damn sure I need to get my money's worth.
Friday, September 16, 2005
The Boys of Iwo Jima
Each year my video production company is hired to go to Washington, D.C. with the eighth grade class from Clinton, Wisconsin where I grew up, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation's capitol, and each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall's trip was especially memorable.
On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history-that of the six brave men raising the American flag at the top of Mount Surabachi on the Island of Iwo Jima, Japan during WW II. Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, "What's your name and where are you guys from?
I told him that my name was Michael Powers and that we were from Clinton, Wisconsin.
"Hey, I'm a Cheesehead, too! Come gather around Cheeseheads, and I will tell you a story."
James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, D.C. to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good-night to his dad, who had previously passed away, but whose image is part of the statue. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, D.C. but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night. When all had gathered around he reverently began to speak. Here are his words from that night:
"My name is James Bradley and I'm from Antigo, Wisconsin. My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called Flags of Our Fathers which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me. Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game, a game called "War." But it didn't turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of twenty-one, died with his intestines in his hands. I don't say that to gross you out; I say that because there are generals who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen years old.
(He pointed to the statue)
You see this next guy? That's Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene's helmet off at the moment this photo was taken, and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph. A photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection, because he was scared. He was eighteen years old. Boys won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men.
The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the "old man" because he was so old. He was already twenty-four. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn't say, "Let's go kill the enemy" or "Let's die for our country." He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, "You do what I say, and I'll get you home to your mothers."
The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes walked off Iwo Jima. He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, "You're a hero." He told reporters, "How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only twenty-seven of us walked off alive?"
So you take your class at school. 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only twenty-seven of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes died dead drunk, face down at the age of thirty-two, ten years after this picture was taken.
The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky, a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, "Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn't get down. Then we fed them Epson salts. Those cows crapped all night."
Yes, he was a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of nineteen. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother's farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. The neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.
The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite's producers, or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say, "No, I'm sorry sir, my dad's not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don't know when he is coming back."
My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually he was sitting right there at the table eating his Campbell's soup, but we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn't want to talk to the press. You see, my dad didn't see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, 'cause they are in a photo and a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died, and when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed in pain.
When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, "I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. DID NOT come back."
So that's the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima, and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time."
Suddenly the monument wasn't just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero in his own eyes, but a hero nonetheless.
On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history-that of the six brave men raising the American flag at the top of Mount Surabachi on the Island of Iwo Jima, Japan during WW II. Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, "What's your name and where are you guys from?
I told him that my name was Michael Powers and that we were from Clinton, Wisconsin.
"Hey, I'm a Cheesehead, too! Come gather around Cheeseheads, and I will tell you a story."
James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, D.C. to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good-night to his dad, who had previously passed away, but whose image is part of the statue. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, D.C. but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night. When all had gathered around he reverently began to speak. Here are his words from that night:
"My name is James Bradley and I'm from Antigo, Wisconsin. My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called Flags of Our Fathers which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me. Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game, a game called "War." But it didn't turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of twenty-one, died with his intestines in his hands. I don't say that to gross you out; I say that because there are generals who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen years old.
(He pointed to the statue)
You see this next guy? That's Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene's helmet off at the moment this photo was taken, and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph. A photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection, because he was scared. He was eighteen years old. Boys won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men.
The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the "old man" because he was so old. He was already twenty-four. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn't say, "Let's go kill the enemy" or "Let's die for our country." He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, "You do what I say, and I'll get you home to your mothers."
The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes walked off Iwo Jima. He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, "You're a hero." He told reporters, "How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only twenty-seven of us walked off alive?"
So you take your class at school. 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only twenty-seven of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes died dead drunk, face down at the age of thirty-two, ten years after this picture was taken.
The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky, a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, "Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn't get down. Then we fed them Epson salts. Those cows crapped all night."
Yes, he was a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of nineteen. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother's farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. The neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.
The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite's producers, or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say, "No, I'm sorry sir, my dad's not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don't know when he is coming back."
My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually he was sitting right there at the table eating his Campbell's soup, but we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn't want to talk to the press. You see, my dad didn't see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, 'cause they are in a photo and a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died, and when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed in pain.
When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, "I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. DID NOT come back."
So that's the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima, and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time."
Suddenly the monument wasn't just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero in his own eyes, but a hero nonetheless.
nice-tits.org
Legends: Companies choose domain names with unintendedly risqué double meanings.
Origins: In the Internet world, the domain names that guide customers to companies' web sites can sometimes be a bit confusing, as they lack spaces between words and often eschew punctuation for the sake of brevity. Domains for similarly-named companies can sometimes be mistaken for each other, and other domain names may seem to represent something entirely different than what was
intended.
One example of the latter category arose in June 2003. when Powergen, the UK's leading integrated gas and electricity company, supposedly picked a rather unfortunate domain name for the web site of their Italian subsidiary, Powergen, that sounded like a shopping place for persons looking to purchase industrial-strength vibrators: powergenitalia.com. But the folks at Powergen maintained that they had nothing to do with the choice of domain name and didn't even have an Italian division. The powergenitalia.com domain hosted the unrelated web site of a real Italian company (Powergen Italia) selling specialized battery products. They have evidently since adopted the less provocative domain name of batterychargerpowergen.it
http://www.snopes.com/business/names/domains.asp
Origins: In the Internet world, the domain names that guide customers to companies' web sites can sometimes be a bit confusing, as they lack spaces between words and often eschew punctuation for the sake of brevity. Domains for similarly-named companies can sometimes be mistaken for each other, and other domain names may seem to represent something entirely different than what was
intended.
One example of the latter category arose in June 2003. when Powergen, the UK's leading integrated gas and electricity company, supposedly picked a rather unfortunate domain name for the web site of their Italian subsidiary, Powergen, that sounded like a shopping place for persons looking to purchase industrial-strength vibrators: powergenitalia.com. But the folks at Powergen maintained that they had nothing to do with the choice of domain name and didn't even have an Italian division. The powergenitalia.com domain hosted the unrelated web site of a real Italian company (Powergen Italia) selling specialized battery products. They have evidently since adopted the less provocative domain name of batterychargerpowergen.it
http://www.snopes.com/business/names/domains.asp
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Weird Coincidence
Yesterday I had iTunes one random ("it's on random") and the following two songs played one after the other:
1. When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin
2. City Of New Orleans - Arlo Guthrie
Do dee doo doo (imagine a man, going on a journey beyond sight and sound...)
1. When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin
2. City Of New Orleans - Arlo Guthrie
Do dee doo doo (imagine a man, going on a journey beyond sight and sound...)
Where to buy Drugs
Certainly not in Brixton at 2am, that's for fucking sure. Not unless you want to be beaten by a crackhead and have your wallet stolen.
Reproduced here in all it's glory is the average street price of various drugs in 15 towns and cities across the UK, from a survey of 40 frontline drugs agencies carried out by drugs information charity DrugScope.
Can't find work, get on your bike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/4206388.stm
Reproduced here in all it's glory is the average street price of various drugs in 15 towns and cities across the UK, from a survey of 40 frontline drugs agencies carried out by drugs information charity DrugScope.
Can't find work, get on your bike...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/4206388.stm
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Yes, chocolate-lovers, the spectacular Chocolate Fountain really does flow with lashings of liquid choccy. All you have to do is fill it up, turn it on and watch in wonder. Once you've recovered from the shock of seeing those mesmerising curtains of cascading Belgian chocolate you can get busy dipping your delicacies into the fountain's warm liquid embrace. Strawberries are stupendous, fudge is fantabulous and marshmallows are magnificent (forgive the alliteration - we're feeling wonderfully Wonka-esque). But the truth is, pretty much anything you can shove on a stick tastes amazing when it's covered in warm, gooey chocolate.
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