New Cloverfield Trailer

Techies

Techies are weird, behaviourally challenged socially awkward and inept people. I know, because I am one. But nothing compares to the comment I just overheard from one of our IT support guys:

"Have you been to Monte Carlo? No? It's the iPhone of cities."

Sweet Jesus!

Cloverfield

MUST. SEE. THIS. FILM.


Trailer Here

21st November 8pm

The lowdown:

England's qualification is back in their hands. Russia's last-gasp loss to Israel on Saturday means Steve McClaren's men will make it to Euro 2008 if they avoid defeat at Wembley against Croatia in their final game on Wednesday.

If England do lose, they are all but certain to crash out. Russia's final match is against group minnows Andorra - currently on a run of 29 successive Euro qualifying defeats - and a Russian victory will put them on 24 points, one ahead of a defeated England.

An England draw coupled with a Russia win means both teams finish on 24 points. England will qualify because teams which finish level on points are divided according to their head-to-head record. England have the edge on goal difference after their 3-0 win at home in London was followed by a 2-1 defeat away in Moscow.

Croatia have qualified by virtue of Russia's defeat in Israel, but their defeat to Macedonia on Saturday has opened up the possibility of England winning the group.

If England beat Croatia by a three-goal margin they will finish ahead of Slaven Bilic's side. A 2-0 win will also be enough as the head-to-head record between the sides will be level and so the group standings will be decided on goal difference - which will be superior for England.

A two-goal win in which England concede a goal (ie 3-1 or 4-2) will mean Croatia finish top by virtue of scoring an away goal in the head-to-head record.

If Croatia lose by a single goal at Wembley, they will still finish top of top Group E.

Overheard in Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

The Tush-Push

Barry,

It's great to hear from you finally. I assume your email found me in error, however it is fortuitous indeed that it did, for I am in great need of one of your finest products to date - the Tush-Push. Since my crash course of extreme weight gain I too have had difficulty getting off the pooper. Please Barry, please help me. I write this from the bathroom, I pray your product arrives before my laptop battery dies and disconnects me from the outside world. Please hurry Barry!

http://phillipsliftsystems.com/company.htm
http://phillipsliftsystems.com/

Thanks,
Tommy

America's New Motto

"We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t get a person off the toilet."

http://phillipsliftsystems.com/company.htm

L-M-P-791

Half hovercraft, half airship, all weird!

Brilliant Game

You play with crayons and physics. The goal of the game is to move the red ball so that it collects the stars. You can cause the red ball to move by drawing physical objects.

With left mouse button you can draw and with right you can remove objects.

You have to download it, but it's small and well worth it.
http://www.kloonigames.com/blog/games/crayon/

Internet Love Song

BRB OMG LOL ROFLMAO

Nice!

The Whitest Boy Alive - Golden Cage

World larget man-made tornado - by accident!

Engineers at the Mercedes-Benz Museum in Germany have built the world’s largest man-made tornado. The 34.43 meter high tornado was built to keep smoke from making it’s way into exhibit areas in the museum in the event of a large fire. The tornado in the photos uses carbon dioxide vapor and takes a good 7 plus minutes for the 144 jets to get 28 tons of air wound up enough to create the vortex necessary to sustain the column. Once running, the tornado will effectively suck in any smoke and carry it up to vents to be expelled to the outside.

The Great Debaters

It must be the year, but the number of big actors who are turning into directors grows every day. The latest is Denzel Washington who is debuting his second directorial effort, The Great Debaters, on Christmas Day. Set back in 1935, The Great Debaters is based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College Texas who inspired his students to form the school's first debate team. This actually looks really damn good, I'm quite impressed. Oscar contender?

Watch the trailer here

Marion the Ripper

Marion just came up with a great onomatopoeic representation of a jack the Ripper murder...

"sshhhrt pfff plafsh bleeeeeuuuaaaarrrg"

Niiice.

Mass Attack

Simple concept - difficult little game

http://mass.attack.fizzlebot.com/

[REC]

"This movie played after Atonement in a double bill at the Venice Film Festival. Within fifteen minutes the previously full cinema was half empty with people filing out of the auditorium in panicked droves. Those who stayed were treated to the proverbial roller-coaster ride and walked out of the Sala Biennale having shared a deeply traumatic yet brilliant experience. REC had me literally screaming with terror and enjoyment.

A bubbly, ambitious TV journalist reports on the seemingly dull sedentary life of an urban fire station and a call to help a strange old lady locked in her apartment hardly seems worthy covering. The chaos, mayhem and trauma that erupts when the old lady plunges her teeth into the neck of the previously sympathetic fireman is simply sensational.

This is not a casual Zombie movie but the usual rules of contamination apply. The live news report style in which it is filmed invoke a jarring sense of participation which make Blair Witch feel cute, dated and comparatively boring."

IMDB - [REC]

Word of the Day - Woolgathering

woolgathering \WOOL-gath-(uh)-ring\, noun:
Indulgence in idle daydreaming.

Similarly, in the meadow, if you laze too late into the fall, woolgathering, snow could fill your mouth.
-- Edward Hoagland, "Earth's eye", Sierra, May 1999

It would be easy to slip off into woolgathering and miss a deadline.
-- Jeraldine Saunders, Washington Post, March 4, 2004

Plagued by guilt, they took refuge in wine, women, and woolgathering.
-- Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust

The soprano roused Fergus from his woolgathering.
-- Sandra Brown, Where There's Smoke

Woolgathering derives from the literal sense, "gathering fragments of wool."

Naomi Wolf - Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot

DI.FMd

Top Gun Homosexuality

You can ride my tail any day!

XMAS XMAS XMAS

I just found my greatest geek xmas gift.


The Wi-Fi Detector Shirt

"Here at ThinkGeek we're pretty lazy when it comes to technology. We expect our gadgets to do all the busywork while we focus on the high level important tasks like reading blogs. That's why we hate to have to crack open our laptops just to see if there is any wi-fi internet access about... and keychain wi-fi detectors, we would have to actually remove them from our pockets to look at them. But now thanks to the ingenious ThinkGeek robot monkeys you can display the current wi-fi signal strength to yourself and everyone around you with this stylish Wi-Fi Detector Shirt. The glowing bars on the front of the shirt dynamically change as the surrounding wi-fi signal strength fluctuates. Finally you can get the attention you deserve as others bow to you as their reverential wi-fi god, while geeky chicks swoon at your presence. You can thank us later."

Red Sox - World Series

Last night was game 1 of the world, at Fenway park. After much preamble and analysis the Red Sox smashed the pasties of the Colorado Rockies 13-1

I knew things were going to go Boston's way after the first inning where the Red Sox main man, Josh Beckett, pitched a strike out then the Sox' Pedroia led off the bottom of the first inning by belting a solo homer that cleared the Green Monster by inches. Pedroia became the second player in World Series history to lead off the first inning of Game 1 with a home run.

The Red Sox didn't stop there against Francis. Youkilis roped a double to right-center. With one out, Ramirez laced an RBI single to left. Drew stroked an RBI double.

Then the Red Sox broke it open with seven in the fifth.

Woo hoo, bring it on game 2.

DI.FM

From Goa to PsyTrance, from Progressive to Hard Dance, Di.fm has the lot. Stream MP3 or windows media direct from the site. Me? I use it to zone out whilst at work. I find that proper banging choons upside my head enables the calm I so desire.

In short, di.fm fucking ROCKS!

Create a Fart Machine

It's totally worth it...

http://www.flabber.nl/archief/021853.php

Losers Blame Referees

New Zealand's reaction to defeat by France was predictably - and by now familiarly - lugubrious. But sadness was animated by some waspish criticism of referee Wayne Barnes. The sin-binning of Luke McAlister and the forward pass in the build-up to the winning try by Yannick Jauzion provoked a storm of ref-bashing on all the outlets known to modern humankind.

It took a Kiwi to deal with the Kiwi outrage. 'Grow up,' said head of refereeing at the International Rugby Board, Paddy O'Brien.

O'Brien has been nothing but a success in the job. 'If you have a problem with referees, talk to us.' This has been his mantra from day one. 'Don't blaze away without knowing the full story.'

He has invited anyone who wishes to see the ways of elite referees to their workshops. Maybe I was brainwashed - there may be some proselytising in the new openness - but I left one such session at the Lensbury Club in London with two impressions. First, rugby is faster and more complicated than ever at the topmost level. Second, the refs could not work harder to keep their error-rate low.

New Zealand did not lose to France because of the forward pass. The momentum of the game had already swung. The All Blacks had started imperiously but France were on an irresistible surge.

No side plays the referee better than the All Blacks. The difference between cheating and realising faster than most what the referee will not notice at, say, the breakdown, is fine to the point of non-existent. And nobody reacts quicker to the interpretation of the hour than your rugby-playing New Zealander.

New Zealand, that is, make life as demanding for the rugby referee as they possibly can. They are looking for as much of an advantage from him as they are from their opponents. It is all part of their game. If referee Barnes missed in the blink of an eye a forward pass, it is all part of the circumstances they have created. So, get over it.

As for the sin-binning of McAlister it should be shown in future seminars of a perfect example of how subtle fouls - a check off the ball - can be as disruptive as a spear-tackle. McAlister was spotted. Excellent work by the referee.

Launchball

Launchball is a great little game from the Science Museum.

http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/launchpad/launchball/

Mature Rugby Team?

All Blacks coach Graham Henry mounted a stirring defence of his side's character after arriving back in Christchurch today.

He made a point of emphasising the development and maturity of the 30-man squad during a four year reign tarnished by last weekend's shock quarterfinal loss to France in Cardiff.

He was clearly unaware of the drama involving the All Blacks' leading try scorer, Doug Howlett.

Reports suggested Howlett was jumping on cars and a hotel room had also been trashed. The NZRU later confirmed that two cars parked in the hotel's car park were damaged in the incident.

Howlett was not among the 17 players who arrived back in New Zealand today after losing to France in the World Cup quarterfinals.

Police said a 29-year-old man had been arrested on suspicion of causing criminal damage to two vehicles outside the Hilton in London.

A Scotland Yard spokesman told NZPA the incident happened at 3am yesterday (3pm NZT).

The man was taken to the police station where he was later bailed, the spokesman said.

It was not known if he had been ordered to stay in the country as part of the bail conditions, but he was expected to report to Heathrow police at the end of the month.

Heh, Bad LOSERS?

http://stuff.co.nz/4232896a10.html

Question...

Q: What do you call 15 guys sitting around the TV watching the Rugby World Cup final?

A: The All Blacks

Courtesy of Marx Marx, and Spew Zealand for LOSING. Ahahahaha. Will this joke ever grow old?

Greatest Try of All-Time?

Watch the Barbarian run that results in the try. The guy who collects the ball from the Spew Zealand kick is none other than Phil Bennett - My second cousin.

DJ NETIK world DMC 2006

DJ YASA 2006 DMC

Kireek 2007 DMC Team Champs

C2C World DMC Champs 2005

What's that Spew Zealand?

There's no CRYING in rugby!

Spew Zealand stunned by All Blacks' exit

Before:

During:

After:


"The All Blacks' dramatic early exit from the Rugby World Cup has sent shockwaves through rugby-obsessed New Zealand.

There were tears of disbelief among stunned Kiwi supporters as they watched France come from behind to beat the tournament hot favourites 20-18 in Cardiff."

From the BBC News website - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7032466.stm

What makes this story all the better is that the quarter-final elimination was the All Black's worst-ever World Cup performance

"Within minutes of the final whistle, New Zealand supporters were venting their disappointment and frustration through telephone texts and radio talkback.

Parents described children as inconsolable. Others talked of family or workmates reduced to tears."

Oh, oh, what makes it better than that is the referee was English, ahahahaha.

In an online poll by New Zealand's TV3 network, 55% of respondents blamed referee Barnes for the loss, but New Zealand's own Paddy O'Brien, who heads the International Rugby Board referee's panel, told TV3 that the loss could not be blamed on refereeing. He said, "We've got to remember that France played very, very well, and as a country I think we have got to grow up."

New Zealand radio commentator Murray Deaker was among those who blasted the All Blacks, claiming they lacked intelligence under pressure.

"Sadly, we are a dumb rugby nation," he said. "We don't play the big matches well. On the big occasions we choke."

In downtown Auckland, Cock & Bull Tavern duty manager Ric Togapuna watched in disbelief.

"The referee cost us the game," he said. "Heaps of French errors went unpunished."

Former All Black Stu Wilson believes the team wasted too many opportunities.

So there you have it, Spew Zealand LOST - the public blame it on the ref, but those in the know, i.e. the actual professionals, blame it on the immature team.

I guess there's one thing to come out of it - finally Spew Zealanders show emotion for something, anything.

So Macs are More Reliable huh?

Apple's new iMac has been plagued by random—but reproducible for some—freezing issues, and it appears that the ATI Radeon HD graphics card and its drivers could be to blame. According to users participating in official Apple support discussions (here and here), the iMac continues to run during the freeze, but users are unable to control the programs with mouse clicks or keyboard commands without rebooting. Apple is apparently aware of the issue, but at this point, no official fix has been released. Some users have even reported that the latest round of video driver updates have made the problem worse.

Full story at Gizmodo

Thanks NZ - Thanks for the Karma

I really have to thank both spew zealand tonight for adding a healthy dose of karma to an otherwise exciting saturday evening.

I really wish I could convey via a text message just how much I am laughing.

(o:

France 20 - NZ 18

AHHHHHHH YEAH!!!

FRANCE just beat spew zealand to knock them out of the Rugby World Cup and advance to the semi-final stage where they will play England next Saturday 13th October.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/7030471.stm

FRANCE winners

spew zealand - LOSERS!

Did I mention that the 'scary-mary' all blacks are LOSERS?

Even the little disco-dance they do before the match couldn't save them.

England BEAT Australia

The outsiders beat the favourites

12-10

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/7030422.stm

Killer Coding Ninja Monkeys

I know they do, because I am one of them.

Giant spider moves to Thames

A giant spider took up residence on the banks of the River Thames on Wednesday, but Arachnophobes can relax -- it doesn't bite or even move.

The nine metre (30 feet) high and wide creature is made of bronze, stainless steel and marble and is the creation of renowned artist Louise Bourgeois.

Created in 1999 and named Maman in tribute to the artist's mother, its appearance outside the Tate Modern art gallery is the first time it has been on display outdoors in Britain.

The Elegant Universe

You can watch the Elegant Universe on the PBS website. Just in case you couldn't finish the book.

Press the Spacebar

and presenting for my 700th post I present

Press The Spacebar

Record here is 51 in 5 seconds!

The Evolution of Dance

This Is Sparta!

Could You Get A Job at Google?

Can you pass the Google test?

Could you get a job with Google?

There's only one way to find out.

A fabulous blog post from Tihomir Nakov records some of the questions put to a friend seeking a job with the company.

Here they are:

1. How many golf balls can you fit in a school bus?

2. You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?

3. How much should you charge to wash all the windows in Seattle?

4. How would you find out if a machine’s stack grows up or down in memory?

5. Explain a database in three sentences to your eight-year-old nephew.

6. How many times a day does a clock’s hands overlap?

7. You have to get from point A to point B. You don’t know if you can get there. What would you do?

8. Imagine you have a closet full of shirts. It’s very hard to find a shirt. So what can you do to organize your shirts for easy retrieval?

9. Every man in a village of 100 married couples has cheated on his wife. Every wife in the village instantly knows when a man other than her husband has cheated, but does not know when her own husband has. The village has a law that does not allow for adultery. Any wife who can prove that her husband is unfaithful must kill him that very day. The women of the village would never disobey this law. One day, the queen of the village visits and announces that at least one husband has been unfaithful. What happens?

10. In a country in which people only want boys, every family continues to have children until they have a boy. if they have a girl, they have another child. if they have a boy, they stop. what is the proportion of boys to girls in the country?

11. If the probability of observing a car in 30 minutes on a highway is 0.95, what is the probability of observing a car in 10 minutes (assuming constant default probability)?

12. If you look at a clock and the time is 3:15, what is the angle between the hour and the minute hands? (The answer to this is not zero!)

13. Four people need to cross a rickety rope bridge to get back to their camp at night. Unfortunately, they only have one flashlight and it only has enough light left for seventeen minutes. The bridge is too dangerous to cross without a flashlight, and it’s only strong enough to support two people at any given time. Each of the campers walks at a different speed. One can cross the bridge in 1 minute, another in 2 minutes, the third in 5 minutes, and the slow poke takes 10 minutes to cross. How do the campers make it across in 17 minutes?

14. You are at a party with a friend and 10 people are present including you and the friend. your friend makes you a wager that for every person you find that has the same birthday as you, you get $1; for every person he finds that does not have the same birthday as you, he gets $2. Would you accept the wager?

15. How many piano tuners are there in the entire world?

16. You have eight balls all of the same size. 7 of them weigh the same, and one of them weighs slightly more. How can you find the ball that is heavier by using a balance and only two weighings?

17. You have five pirates, ranked from 5 to 1 in descending order. The top pirate has the right to propose how 100 gold coins should be divided among them. But the others get to vote on his plan, and if fewer than half agree with him, he gets killed. How should he allocate the gold in order to maximize his share but live to enjoy it? (Hint: One pirate ends up with 98 percent of the gold.)

One of his readers has a tilt at answering them (scroll down to Tom).

But actually I think the answer to all the questions is easier - Google them. So, for instance, you can discover the best estimate of the number of piano tuners in the world. It is made by William Poundstone who estimates it at 20,000

10 Most Amazing Temples

A great article here about the ten most amazing temples in the world. And they really are quite spectacular.

10 Most Amazing Temples

Fun with the Fire Fighters

http://view.break.com/365181 - Watch more free videos

Omnikron

Canadian + French electro hip hop. Sounds like it shouldn't work, but it does.

... as I Possibly Can

It's been one of those days where at work people keep saying to me things "we need to do this as fast as we possibly can", or "you need to fix this as fast as you possibly can". Well I've got a few requirements of that nature myself today. So here's my list of things that I want to add "as fast as I possibly can" to.

I want to get out of work
I want to go to the pub
I want to drink beer
I want to get drunk

Amazing Architectural Wonders

Architectural Wonders - HQ Wallpapers 64 Images… World on Your Desktop… Enjoy…


Architectural Wonders

Britney at the VMAs

It is truly awful. Man she's really let herself go...

Leave Britney Alone

This "man" wants you to leave Britney alone. He means it. Leave her alone otherwise he might do something - like cry more.

Iron Man trailer

The trailer for Iron Man looks great (althought it looks a little bit like some of the scenes from Team America). Please, please don't let this go the same way as Ghost Rider - especially as I just found out Nic Cage wanted to play the part of Iron man.

Iron Man Trailer

Ghost Caught on Camera

Wow, this is amazing.

Two of my Favourite Things

Cake + PHP = CakePHP

"Cake is a rapid development framework for PHP which uses commonly known design patterns like ActiveRecord, Association Data Mapping, Front Controller and MVC. Our primary goal is to provide a structured framework that enables PHP users at all levels to rapidly develop robust web applications, without any loss to flexibility."

Nice one guys, keeping the dream alive!

Mee's Been at the Photoshop

I do NOT have hamster cheeks. I repeat, I do NOT have hamster cheeks.

Adam's Birthday Party

This album is from a few weeks ago, at the birthday party the other Adam I work with. There's a pattern emerging here - in all of these albums there always a picture of me kissing someone (or someone planting one on me) and at least one of me holding multiple drinks (this on is four).

Friday Night at the Longacre

So after the MONSTROUSLY MASSIVE week that saw the Google table football party, the MSN party, England football friendly against Germany, and the AD.com media party, this is what was left of us on the Friday night, at the Longacre in Covent Garden.

Friday Night Bowling

Last Friday night, we went bowling at the Trocadero. The lanes opened at 7pm, and so did my liver.

Nose Propellor

I think this is real, and I think it's done with the tiny little hairs on the end of one's nose.

I want to see this done in real life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbUeX8ZPUmA

Random MP3 Search Player

Remeber a while ago somebody figured out how to perform Google open directory searches to find MP3s? Well some other clever bastard made an application out of it that plays the random tracks it finds. Not that it's always a goldmine, but interesting to have on in the background.

http://www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/play.php

Robert DeNiro Teaches Emo How To Act

Feed The Head

I have no idea what the point of this little thing is, but the possibilities are great and it's kept me amused for the past 45 minutes now.

http://www.feedthehead.net/

Transparent Toaster

What a brilliant idea! A transparent toaster so you can see exactly when your toast is the perfect shade of black, erm I mean brown. For me my toast is perfect when it just beginning to get burnt.



Too bad it's only a concept right now.

Cool Ventriloquist

Ok, so I mostly hate ventriloquists, I can't help but think of Keith harris and Orville (shudder) scarey, and I didn't like Orville either. Spit the dog was funny, but this guy just goes the extra inch...

http://www.flabber.nl/archief/021451.php

Overheard in New York

Blond Tourist Bimbo: I've never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it's a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.

link

Word Definition

No, this one's not from dictionary.com, but extremely useful nonetheless:

floordrobe n. A pile of discarded clothes on the floor of a person’s room. [Blend of floor and wardrobe.]

Cadburys Advert

I just saw this on the gogglebox. Heaven knows what is has to do with chocolate, but it's brilliant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ol_2z3AcSbA

It does, however, appear to be a blatant rip-off of a previous commercial for west49.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18BcWQsljvU

Oh, wait, that's what creative agencies do isn't it?

Top 1000 Songs of the 80s

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

House of Mystery

Just up the road from where I live there's a House of Mystery. Oooooh. What's in there? Nobody knows. Maybe Marion's bag is in there.

Scenery at the Water Park

This is a collage photo of the scenery at our recent Diffiniti company away day. A great time was had by all, and the area was amazing.

Oh, and did I mention that we won the competition and that our prize was a hot tub and amany bottle of Champagne. Weee.

Thong thong thong thong THONG

I saw this girl whilst on the platform waiting for a train to IKEA recently. In the entire time I was waiting (20 minutes) she moved just enough for me to establish that she wasn't dead. I think she must have been really hung over.

Where's Marion's Bag

Feel free to contribute...

Wikipedia - Where's Marion's Bag

France, England, Rugby, Bad

France 22, England 9

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Damn froggies. (0:

Can't Sleep

"I am off to try to sleep now. I have the most amazing memories of you, and I miss you so much. I can't sleep at night for thinking about you. When you can't be in my arms you are always in my dreams. When you are in my arms my dreams are complete."

Thirsty on Sundy

I was soooo thirsty last night I drank four cans of beer in under 35 minutes.

I think I may have issues...

...like running out of fucking beer!

Pete's Birthday

I just turned 48, far as I know.

I think.

Never been good at maths, which may explain the £4,000,000 loss on NPI.

Swings and bottomless pits, still, “that’s business !” eh ?

If you’re looking for a present for me then you might like to look at these :

http://www.firebox.com/?dir=firebox&action=product&aff=1108&pid=415
http://www.carver-worldwide.com/Home/Index.asp?nc=1
http://www.seriouswheels.com/cars/top-2004-Volvo-Extreme-Gravity-Car.htm
http://www.gizmag.com/go/4681/gallery/

I think it’s probably a mid-life crisis.

Although it’s a strange one, because I’m thinking that they could all use diesel or sterling engines for economy.

And they could probbaly benefit from some sturdy driving gloves and a soft cloth cap.

Where on earth do they keep their maps ?

Do they have a glove compartment ?

Where do they store their gloves ?

Does the tax disc holder come as standard ?

These people just haven’t thought it through.

Central locking ? ABS ? ESD ? TDI ? GSO ? Satellite Navigation ? JHG ? NN3, 4TW ?

More than one of the previous may have been a postcode. I’m not sure. I’m old, now. It’s all meaningless.

But I do like a nice cup holder.

And some warm gloves.



Underwear is good too, but for different reasons

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

Fuck the PO-LEEECE

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

FUCK THE POLICE!

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

http://digg.com/tech_deals/AWESOME_NEW_CHEAT_CODE_09_F9_11_02_9D_74_E3_5B_D8_41_56_C5_63_56_88_C0

http://blog.digg.com/?p=74

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

----

ALL RIGHT LET'S DO THIS,..... LEROY 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Yeah banned.

At least I got chicken

Which Station is This?

This picture was taken on the underground and is of a poster advert for Capital FM. It shows a train station (I would assume it's in London, but I can't be sure of that).

I have looked on google maps but I can't work out which one it is. The nearest I have come is London Bridge station - which looks nearly the same, but not identical.

Please help, things like this drive me potty. Click on the picture above for a bigger view.

Magnum P.I. in Brixton

Can anybody tell me why this is on the pavement outside my house? There's another one down the road too.

New York to London - Google Style

Take 60 seconds to do this, I guarantee you will show someone else, it's
too funny not to.

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box) (hit get directions)
6. scroll down to step #23

Web 2.0

Have you, like me, ever sat in a meeting and wondered exactly what-ah-THE-FUCK Web 2.0 ACTUALLY IS?

Well wonder no more with this handy little guide from a professor, or something.

No, but really it's pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gmP4nk0EOE

Fun with SkyTV Captions

I was just browsing around the other day and found this, don't ask how ;)

More Recruiter Shennanigans

Got this yesterday, got it three times:

Dear Consultant

Our Brussels based client requires a Senior J2EE Dev/Architect/Designer for a 3 month contract, with the possibility of going permanent in the long term. The spec is as follows:

So I asked him to stop sending them to me:

Ok, please stop sending these

No thanks

He didn't take the hint:

My apologies Adam. For some reason you appeared 3 times on our database. I have corrected the error.

What is your current status?

So I told him what my current status is:

Mike,

My current status is; alive, breathing, sitting, drinking a cup of coffee. Sometimes my status is nose-picking, but I had breakfast this morning so that won’t be necessary today.

Oh, you mean work status? I am employed full-time, although the above statuses still count too.

Apparently he does have a sense of humour:

Thanks. Glad to hear you’re not starving!

Recruiter Alert

I got this email from a recruiter recently:

Good afternoon Adam,

Your CV was sent to me today via Monster (one of our online recruitment partners). I have read through your profile notes and now wondered if the job description as attached would be of any interest? The position is a permanent vacancy working for a media and entertainment company based in Battersea, SW London.

They now seek a Java Developer with a salary bracket on offer in the region of £25k - £40k (negotiable on experience) but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price!

If you are interested, please could you reply back to me with your full CV in Word format, confirming in the subject the job title that you would like to be considered for?

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me at your earliest convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Keith.

I was particularly intrigued by the line, "£25k - £40k (negotiable on experience) but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price!"

So I replied:

Keith,

Thanks for getting in contact.

Yes I do have one question. You said "but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price". Could I go for the lower end price? I am sure I could manage poor to low quality. Just exactly how low quality could I get away with for £25k? Is it as simple as half as good as the £40k, or does the scale start at £25k? Could I just grunt and dribble on myself for that price?

If I was willing to drop another, say £5K, could I just sit there and wet myself?

Thanks, I look forward to a potential interview.
Adam

Interestingly he replied, I guess the humour was lost on him. He did allude to my use of humour, but I can only imagine he forwarded my email to someone in his office, who pointed out my clandestine subtleties:

Adam,

Thank you for your entertaining response…!

If you are willing to be considered, please complete the attached tech test which I will want back by end of day tomorrow. It's open book and I normally give candidates 24 hours to do it. It's a test of research and initiative as well as a test of current knowledge.

If you’re up for the challenge, I look forward to receiving your effort. From here, we can see just how much of a fit you have for the role.

Best regards, Keith.

Ps I will also need your full CV in Word format.

I took this picture looking south down Bishopsgate using a mobile phone. It was in December when the sun was really low in the sky, late one afternoon.

I think it looks like a zombie movie.

The Imperial System

Whilst watching the film Seabiscuit the other day, I realised that I had absolutely no idea what a furlong is. I know it's a unit of measurement of length, but its exact length escaped me. In my search for the truth is dicovered that a furlong is 660 feet, or 7920 inches, or 220 yards, or 1,000 links, or 40 poles, or 10 chains. See?

I have also discovered a number of other units of measurement that have become lost in time.

I think we should resurrect:
Chains
Poles
Links
Leagues
Roods
Pecks
Kennings
Buckets
Strikes
Pails
Chaldrons
Lasts
Firkins
Kilderkins
Hogsheads
Gills
Minims
Scruples
Grains
and Drachms (my favourites - they are 1/16th of an ounce ;-) )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_unit

Is it any wonder we had to give the empire their flags back?

Stop the Little Guy Laughing