Being British

Have a cup of tea and a choccy biccy.

Now have a lovely hot bath before throwing your poop into the street, catching bubonic plague and invading several smaller African countries, declaring that the "natives are restless".

Oh and don't forget to be all coy, yet arrogant and passive-aggressive. And complain lots, but don't do anything about it.

She is We Todd Did

But she doesn't know it yet...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-704985594321203050

Farting Preacher

This is an absolutely genius piece of editing...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744

Word Of The Day

repast \rih-PAST\, noun:
Something taken as food; a meal.

This repast could scarcely have been digested before a "tea" of fresh bread, butter, cheese, cold meat, and cake was served at half past six.
--Joan Druett, Hen Frigates

On June 1, 1563, in Basel, Thomas sat down to a meal, probably the evening repast.
--Emmanuel Le Roy Ladurie, The Beggar and the Professor (translated by Arthur Goldhammer)

When staying with friends in America in 1949, the philosopher demanded bread and cheese at all meals. Every time the dull repast was laid before him, he would exclaim, as if for the first time, "Hot diggetty!", a phrase he had picked up from the movies.
--Bee Wilson, "Stomach tracts," New Statesman, January 8, 1999

Repast comes from Old French repaistre, "to feed," from Latin re- + pascere, "to feed." It is related to pasture, "the grass grown for the feeding of grazing animals, or the land used for grazing."

The 50 greatest independent films

I've seen 43 of these. I am so proud of myself.

http://www.empireonline.co.uk/features/50greatestindependent/50-41.asp

Mrs "Munster" Bush

What the hell is up with Mrs Bush?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1712262

Funky Laundry

http://www.funkylaundry.nl/webwinkel/N_frame.html?http://www.funkylaundry.nl/webwinkel/

Powerful Versus

In case you've been living under a rock (or still think reading is where it's at), you may have missed the biggest trend in film since Jar Jar Binks heralded a new age in make-believe annoyance. I'm talking, of course, about versus movies.

Freddy Vs. Jason and Alien Vs. Predator were just the dual tips of this exceedingly idiotic iceberg. The versus genre - showcasing the art form of taking two iconic characters (or concepts) and forcefully smooshing them into a film that the American public will eat up like candy is hot. Not since the heyday of Godzilla, has the versus genre sent movie execs into a state of latte-induced foaming of the mouth. So, in my bid to cash in on this imbecilic trend, I give you five more versus movies that at least 125,000 people will probably pay to see.

http://www.thecheappop.com/vs.html

Zoo Joke

A man goes to a zoo, but all that's there is a dog.

It was a shitzu.

Baby Scan Pictures

Maybe I will feel differntly one day but I have to tell you, I hate baby scan pictures. The proud parents are all like, oooh, oooh, look look at its little hands, and I am always thinking, dear god, that's a half-formed freakazoid alien. Kinda like when Jeff Goldblum puts the monkey in the teleporter in the remake of the fly and it emerges in the other pod inside-out, just before it explodes.

Babies - real babies are another matter, but what's so cute about a 3 1/2 month blob? Might as well cuddle my chicken eggs - before I turn them into a lovely omlette. Mmm omlettes.

I'm hungry.