40 amazing facts about sleep

. Ducks at risk of attack by predators are able to balance the need for sleep and survival, keeping one half of the brain awake while the other slips into sleep mode

. After five nights of partial sleep deprivation, three drinks will have the same effect on your body as six would when you've slept enough

What about drunk ducks?

http://abc.net.au/science/sleep/facts.htm

Nectar - Everyone's a Spinner

What you need to know about the latest Nectar fuck-you-up-the-arse-for-your-email-confirmation-please-don't-block-our-emails-we're-not-spammer-honestly "offer".

What a load of old BOLLOCKS!

Here's what you do: Get one of the freaky Nectars (you remember the animated cartoon family that Nectar claimed was the first of it's kind ever - liars!) to spin the wheel and potentially win a prize.

There are 5651 prizes up for grabs which are split thus: One grand prize (£2074), 5 x 50,000 points (£1250), 30 iPods (£6599.70), 15 digital cameras (£1949.85), 50 x 10,000 points (£2500), 50 DVD Players (£2249.50), 500 x 1,000 points (£2500) and 5000 x 500 points (£12,500)

This makes a total prize fund of £31,623.05

Now that value is RRP, so the actual prize cost to Nectar is much less, but for the sake of argument let's says it's £30,000. Add on the marketing costs, the cost of the mailshot, and the technical cost of the website and competition, this could easily treble the cost. So let's say £100,000 as a nice, round figure. In fact it's probably much more.

But to enter the competition you must validate your email address.

All that effort to validate YOUR email address? I guess they need email addresses badly. Well, actually what they need is for you to validate you email address. They already have it, in fact they already have over 2 MILLION email addresses, but they can't validate all of them. This has caused them problems such as being classed as spammers by some of the email clients (email clients like, but maybe not including msn, hotmail, etc.)

Oh, wait, this just in, I didn't win, quel surprise! (Yes, I know, I played, what a twat!) But I got another email from the Nectards saying:

"Thanks again for playing Everyone's a Spinner. Although you didn't win a top prize we didn't want you to walk away empty-handed"

Aaaargh, they're going to cut my hands off!

No, but they are going to offer me the chance to have 8 FREE rentals at Blockbuster (when you sign up for their Unlimited DVD Rentals)

So I go to the Blockbuster website about this promotion and the first thing I notice is that it doesn't state a price. WAHAY! It must be free? No?

In the "10 reasons to join blockbuster.co.uk" it also states that:

3. We’ve got the fastest turnaround times in the UK *
4. We send more new releases per customer per month than anyone else *
6. We send more discs per customer per month than anyone else *

And that little asterix means "* based on mystery shopping survey by Tango Communications"

Ah, a mystery shopping survey, well that's ok then.

It's all BOLLOCKS. AAAARGH.

Sorry if you read to the end. There isn't much of a point to this. I just wanted to rant. :)

Pool Dominos

Brilliant, brilliant!



http://www.flabber.nl/archief/017876.php

Dashboard Mohammed

These are 10oz. ceramic bobbleheads, not cheap plastic. PERFECT stocking stuffers for Christmas or Hanukkah gifts, if you're a twisted freak like me.



http://www.dashboardmohammed.com/store.html

Another Spam Scam

Dear friend

I am Mr.alex baker a personal treasurer to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the Richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies: Chairman/CEO:YUKOS OIL (Russian's Largest Oil Company), Chairman/CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (Awell reputable financial institution with its Branches all over the world)

SOURCE OF FUNDS:
I have a profiling amount in an excess of US$35,000,000 which I seek your Partnership in accommodating for me. You will be rewarded with 20% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you be my partner on this?

INTRODUCTION OF MYSELF
As a personal treasurer to him, authority was handedover to me to transfer some money to an American oil merchant for his lastoil deal with my boss Mikhail Khodorkovsky. Already the funds have left the shore of Russia to a European private Bank where the final crediting is expected to be carried out. While I was on the process, My Boss got arrested for his Involvement in politics by financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, Ledby Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party Led by Gregor Yavlinsky) which poses a treat to President Vladimir Putin's SecondTenure as Russian president.

You can catch more of the story on this website:
http://there's_no_fucking_way_I_am_going_to_drive_your_traffic.com

YOUR ROLE:
All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the abovequoted Sum and I will re-profile the funds with your name, which will enable the European bank transfer the sum to you with the aid of an online bank inLondon. The transaction has to be Concluded before Mikhail Khodorkovsky isout on bail. As Soon as I confirm your readiness to conclude the transaction with me, I will provide you with the details. Please respond to my private email which is:
alex22baker@yahoo.com

Thank you very much
Regards
alex baker (Mr.)

Go on, drop Alex a line, tell him you love him for his bravado and daring-do.

Spackers

No, really, spackers...

http://www.hightreespackers.com/

Heh

110 Shots Fired - 68 Hit

"LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) -- Officers fired 110 rounds of ammunition at the suspect in the killing of a Polk County sheriff's deputy, according to an autopsy and records released by the sheriff's office Saturday."

"You have to understand, he had already shot and killed a deputy, he had already shot and killed a K-9 and he shot and injured another deputy," Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said by phone Saturday. "Quite frankly, we weren't taking any chances."

"Ten SWAT officers surrounded Freeland on Friday as he hid underneath brush and a fallen tree in a rural area. Authorities say he raised Williams' gun at them, prompting nine of the officers to fire."

But, this is my favourite quote, from Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd:

"I suspect the only reason 110 rounds was all that was fired was that's all the ammunition they had"

http://www1.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/MI30139/

Silly Lady

"Sorry, but if you had rental properties did it never occur to you to sell them off and realise the equity to help some of your problems?

I can't help but think that the help you have received from the mortgage lenders has come at least partly because you are writing about them on the BBC website. Of course they are more likely to be helpful.

I hardly think this kind of whinging and blogging activity will help the average person in real hardship with debt. You had many more ways out of debt than you seem to have considered."

Read the whole story here

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/5385866.stm

Word of the Day

fulsome \FUL-sum\, adjective:

1. Offensive to the taste or sensibilities.
2. Insincere or excessively lavish; especially, offensive from excess of praise.

He recorded the event in his journal: "Long evening visit from Mr. Langtree--a fulsome flatterer."
-- Edward L. Widmer, Young America: The Flowering of Democracy in New York City

Concealed disgust under the appearance of fulsome endearment.
-- Oliver Goldsmith, The Citizen of the World


Fulsome is from Middle English fulsom, from full + -som, "-some."

Get well Soon Hamster

Yesterday morning, after the news about the Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond's injuries in a crash at 280 miles per hour, a guy called Alex Goss put up a fundraising page on the charity fundraising website JustGiving. Alex's goal was to raise £340 on behalf of the Yorkshire Air Ambulance Service - the helicopter that picked up Richard and took him to hospital after the crash. £340 pays for - on average - one flight of the air ambulance, a worthy and noble cause.

Very quickly the total raised went well over the £340, and continued to gain momentum during the day. Alex updated the site with the new goal of £7500. About 4:30pm yesterday afternoon the BBC news website updated one of it's pages with the link to the fundraising website - JustGiving and it quickly shot up to just under £10,000 when I left work at 6pm.

I got into work this morning and Alex's site had again been updated with a new goal of £25,500 and has now raised £29,000. In fact in the time it has taken me to write this small blog entry the total has gone up to £29,937. With the Gift Aid reclaimed by just giving on the behalf of the donors, this total is now £37,616.38

Incredible from just a small goal of £340

http://www.justgiving.com/phrichardhammond

Well done Alex, top job mate!

Word of the Day

opprobrium \uh-PRO-bree-uhm\, noun:

1. Disgrace; infamy; reproach mingled with contempt.
2. A cause or object of reproach or disgrace.

Typically academic, they disdainfully observed about many university press books--"too dry, too specialized, too self-absorbed for us." In their world, the word "academic" was as much a term of opprobrium as the word "middlebrow" was in mine.
-- Janice A. Radway, A Feeling for Books

Five months after Malaysia incurred global opprobrium by closing off its currency and capital markets, its officials are in no mood to apologize.
-- Mark Landler, "Malaysia Says Its Much-Criticized Financial Strategy Has Worked", New York Times, February 14, 1999


Opprobrium derives from Latin opprobrare, "to reproach," from ob, "in the way of" + probrum, "reproach." The adjective form is opprobrious.

Leg hell woman 'taunted'

The Sun Online - News: Leg hell woman 'taunted'

A WOMAN suffering from an ‘Elephant Man’ condition yesterday told how she is taunted in the street by strangers.

Mandy Sellars, 31, has Proteus Syndrome which has caused her legs to grow to three times the size of her body.

Only around 120 people in the world suffer from the incurable disorder.

Her top half is a petite size 12 but 16-stone Mandy struggles to lift her legs which are 35 inches in circumference.

Brave Mandy, who suffers from arthritis, told ITV’s This Morning show: “Adults can be very hurtful. In a restaurant one blurted out ‘look at the size of those feet’.

“I don’t mind children staring, but adults should know better.”

Word of the Day

cataract \KAT-uh-rakt\, noun:

1. A great fall of water over a precipice; a large waterfall.
2. A downpour; a flood.
3. A clouding or opacity of the lens or capsule of the eye, which obstructs the passage of light.


Niagara is no virgin. Today, its cataract can be stopped with the pull of a lever, and less than half its natural flow pours over the precipice.
-- Thurston Clarke, "Roll Out the Barrel", New York Times, February 16, 1997

Bartram was an ace self-dramatizer and avid explorer of nature, whose journals are full of blood and thunder and such dramatic observations of animals as this one of the American crocodile: "His enormous body swells. His plaited tail brandished high, floats upon the lake. The waters like a cataract descend from his opening jaws. Clouds of smoke issue from his dilated nostrils."
-- Diane Ackerman, "Nature Writers: A Species Unto Themselves", New York Times, May 13, 1990

So ambitious is he to detail the full background of every individual, group, institution or phenomenon that figures in his chronicle . . . that a reader sometimes founders in the cataract of details.
-- Christopher Lehmann-Haupt, review of Common Ground, by J. Anthony Lukasm, New York Times, September 12, 1985

A cataract of names spills over the pages: Henry Kissinger, G. Gordon Liddy, Betty Ford, Frank Sinatra, Alice Roosevelt Longworth.
-- Richard F. Shepard, "How '60 Minutes' Ticks", New York Times, December 25, 1985


Cataract is from Latin cataracta, "a waterfall, a portcullis," from Greek kataraktes, katarrhaktes, from katarassein, "to dash down," from kata-, "down" + arassein, "to strike, dash."

Trivia hunters ask the textperts

Having just completed his PhD at Cambridge, Tom Ellis knows plenty about DNA.

But thanks to his current line of work, he is also in the enviable - and perhaps slightly disturbing - position of knowing exactly what questions are on the mind of the nation.

Tom is one of a growing band of textperts - people working for companies whose business is answering questions sent to them by text message.

And after BBC News spent a day with Tom and his employers, 82ask, it would be fair to say most of the queries are not of the deep and involved nature that his alma mater would approve of.

Certainly it is difficult to see how his thesis will help him in tackling such taxing teasers as "How long is the longest goldfish?" or "How tall is a smurf?".

While the number of questions received by the company is a commercial secret, they easily run into the hundreds each hour during the day and early evening.

Month-on-month growth has been close to 30%.

General trivia dominates from Monday to Thursday between 7pm and 10pm, a sign that perhaps not everyone is playing pub quizzes in the spirit they are intended.

By 11pm the queries become noticeably more abstract. "How do you go about becoming a nun?" asks one texter. "Why are platypuses poisonous if they look so cute?" says another. And then there is the age old question: "Which is better? Dogs or cats?"

"The animal comparison ones are more common than you'd think," says Tom, as he informs a customer exactly who would win a fight between a pigeon and terrapin.

"There are lots of slightly silly questions which crop up again and again. People must think they're being original, but they're not."

Amid the merriment, mirth and occasional bawdiness is a genuine hunt for more practical information, with users texting 82ask (82275) seeking anything from train times and weather forecasts to phone numbers and the location of florists.

Each answer they receive costs £1, expensive for a bit of indulgent trivia-hunting but perhaps better value if it is information needed quickly and reliably.

It was this concept, the desire for information on the go, that prompted Sarah McVittie and Thomas Roberts to quit their jobs with investment bank UBS and found 82ask.

It was a concept based largely on the premise that, while many mobile phones are enabled to cope with internet browsing, the trend has never really taken off.

"We've seen that people do not want to search through reams of information on their mobile phone," says Ms McVittie, the enthusiastic, Mandarin-speaking, motorbike loving co-director in the firm's bright and airy offices on a Cambridge terraced street.

"What people want is snippets, nuggets, short sharp facts."

Mr Roberts, who oversees technical developments at the firm, agrees.

"If you're in a social environment you just want to send a quick text and not spend time looking for something," he says.

"Rather than it taking five minutes of your time, it can take 30 seconds of your time and then five minutes of ours. We eliminate the need to search and give the content most relevant to customers, freeing you up to do other things."

Sport, science and entertainment are the most popular question categories, though queries are extremely event sensitive. The World Cup brought a surge in football teasers, while until recently each Friday produced a flurry of "Who has been evicted from Big Brother tonight?" type posers.

In a world of easily accessible information, answering them quickly sounds a fairly simple job.

But a few hours with Tom in his Cambridge flat shows that being a textpert is not about being able to use Google.

Answering trivia seems like an ideal job for someone who wishes they had applied for University Challenge or Fifteen To One.

On Tom's desk is a road atlas, a copy of 'The Economist Book of Figures' and at the foot of the wall-to-wall shelves, back issues of the Guinness Book of Records.

But these are clearly more for personal enjoyment than work, given most of the sources he uses are online, including the databases of football statistics provider Opta - not available to the general public.

When an answer cannot be found (and a Wikipedia entry is never enough for the firm to base an answer on), the question is passed to a shift supervisor who will often make phone calls (via Skype) to track down a solution.

Those posing particular questions, especially about health matters, are given contact details for expert advice.

But almost all other questions receive a direct answer - including ones such as "If you know everything, what is my name?" (the answer, by the way, will be along the lines of there being 11,782 John Smiths registered on the UK electoral roll so statistically you are most likely to be called John Smith).

"I do like a challenge," says Tom as he trawls a document on UK fishing exports, buried deep inside the Defra website.

"Most of it is stuff that everyone has access to, but they aren't in a position to look or don't know where to look. It's generally quite easy to get the answer they're after."

Given his work rate, he may be wishing he was paid per question, rather than on an hourly rate.

There are about 120 textperts employed by 82ask, including some in the US, and it is a competitive industry.

Only 1% to 2% of applicants get jobs (many are Oxford and Cambridge postgraduates) and are trained to put themselves in the mindset of the customer.

"If a question comes in at 11pm saying "Late bar. Clapham. Now" you tend to think they're in a bit of a rush so you might try to answer that one ahead of another that appears less urgent," Tom says.

It is an attitude that has helped the growth of the firm, largely through word of mouth.

Building the customer base is crucial, and not just because each answer generates an extra quid on the balance sheet.

The more people who use the service, the more efficient it also becomes.

With software recognising key words from questions, textperts are shown similar queries previously posed. It means that those asked regularly can be answered speedily.

"One of the most common questions to come in is about weather, but people ask for it in hundreds of different ways. The system can understand the ways that people ask for it, even if it is in 'text speak'," Mr Roberts says.

"Then it draws the data from a central source and can compose a reply. Textperts cast a glance over answers to ensure it seems correct but it is sent out without human intervention in 19 out of 20 cases."

For companies like 82ask, and its rival Any Question Answered (AQA) there is the potential for a revenue beyond its core business.

With many of the questions being consumer driven (Where can I get a DAB radio for under £50?; What is the cheapest flight from London to Paris this Saturday?) it is easy to see that advertising is another way for the company to make money.

"We are gathering a lot of data about who is asking what sort of questions and when, which is useful information to a lot of people," Ms McVittie says.

"So advertisers being involved is a definite possibility, but it could never affect the independence of the answer.

"We're talking to customers to see whether they would be happy to have an answer on a certain topic, brought in association with a particular product, if this made for a cheaper service."

Just as Tom bemoans another easy question, a more involved, and slightly perverse one arrives: "Who scored the 428th goal in the history of the Premiership?".

It takes him 20 minutes to work out which season it must have been scored, then which week before listing every goal scored, in order, to deduce it was Ray McKinnon for Nottingham Forest against Manchester City on 3 October 1992.

"That might not have been very cost effective," Tom says afterwards. "But one thing we're taught in training is that it's better to give a considered answer so that they come back and use us again.

"Mind you it's one of those that leaves you wondering why anyone would want to know that."


A smurf, by the way, is three apples tall.

Word of the Day

improvident \im-PROV-uh-duhnt; -dent\, adjective:
Lacking foresight or forethought; not foreseeing or providing for the future; negligent or thoughtless.

Elizabeth's husband . . . had been a reckless, improvident man, who left many debts behind him when he died suddenly of a consumption in September 1704.
-- David Nokes, Jane Austen: A Life

Lily is spoiled, pleasure-loving, and has one of those society mothers who are as improvident as a tornado.
-- Elizabeth Hardwick, Sight-Readings: American Fictions

He called the decision "an exercise in raw judicial power" that was "improvident and extravagant."
-- Linda Greenhouse, "White Announces He'll Step Down From High Court", New York Times, March 20, 1993


Improvident derives from Latin improvidens, improvident-, from im- (for in-), "not" + providens, provident-, present participle of providere, "to see beforehand, to provide for," from pro-, "before, forward" + videre, "to see."

Badmobile

Quick, to the badmobile!

Whilst using MSN Messenger today I noticed this advertisment down in the bottom corner:



Clicking on it takes you to the Sony Ericsson site. I wonder what they are trying to say?

Korean guitarists 8 millions fans

He is rather good don't you think?

Korean guitarists 8 millions fans

Talk Like a Pirate Day

September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Visit the site and learn how to do everything like a pirate. Oo-aaaaar. Shiver me timbers.

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

Dutch are the world's tallest people

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - Most of us are taller than our parents, who probably are taller than their parents. But in the Netherlands, the generational progression has reached new heights.

In the last 150 years, the Dutch have become the tallest people on Earth, and experts say they're still getting bigger. It is a tale of a country's health and wealth.

Prosperity propelled the collective growth spurt that began in the mid-1800s and was only interrupted during the harsh years of the Nazi occupation in the 1940s, when average heights actually declined.

With their protein-rich diet and a national health service that pampers infants, the Dutch are standing taller than ever. The average Dutchman stands just over six feet, while women average nearly 5-foot-7.

Many Dutch are much taller than average. So many, in fact, that four years ago the government adjusted building codes to raise the standards for door frames and ceilings. Doors must now be 7-feet, 6 1/2-inches high.

The Dutch Tall People's Club has a membership of 2,000 individuals and families, or about 4,500 people including children. But Van Sprundel said the requirements are minimal, to conform with similar clubs in other countries, about 6-foot-3 for men and 5-foot-11 for women.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2006/09/15/1847810-ap.html

Many ADHD pupils excluded - poll

More than one third of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have been excluded from school, a survey of parents suggests.

The poll of 526 families found 39% had had a child excluded from class, and in 11% of cases this was permanent.

Almost two thirds said their child's ability to achieve at school was "very affected" by their condition, which makes concentration difficult.

And, furthermore, oooooh, nice curtains, did I remember to close the windows at home? Hmmm

Rest of story here...

Lift-off for woman space tourist

The first woman space tourist has blasted off on a Russian Soyuz rocket from Baikonur in Kazakhstan.

The mission is carrying Iranian-born businesswoman, Anousheh Ansari, along with a fresh crew for the International Space Station (ISS).

Ms Ansari, a 40-year-old US citizen, is thought to have paid at least $20m (£10.6m) for the mission.

Lift-off took place at 1010 local time (0410 GMT) and the Soyuz has entered orbit successfully, officials said.

The mission is expected to reach the ISS on Wednesday.

The Atlantis shuttle, which undocked from the ISS on Sunday, is expected to land back on Earth on Wednesday.

'Fragile Earth'

Ms Ansari is accompanying Russian cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin and US astronaut Michael Lopez-Alegria, who will join German astronaut Thomas Reiter on the station.

She is the fourth space tourist.

Ahead of lift-off Ms Ansari said she was an ambassador for attracting private investment into space programmes.

Ms Ansari, who made her fortune in telecoms, also said the trip would put the planet into perspective.

"You'll see how small and how fragile the Earth is compared to the rest of the universe. It will give us a better sense of responsibility."

On the ISS, Ms Ansari will carry out experiments on back pain for the European Space Agency.

Ms Ansari replaced Japanese businessman Daisuke Enomoto, who dropped out due to unspecified medical reasons.

Cosmonaut Tyurin said Ms Ansari had been "very professional" in her training.

Ms Ansari will return on 28 September with two other space station occupants.

The returning Atlantis crew has seen the addition of two massive solar panel wings for the station's power generation.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/5355022.stm

Word of the Day

commodious \kuh-MOH-dee-us\, adjective:
Comfortably or conveniently spacious; roomy; as, a commodious house.

Then there are the trousers, black check or blue check, with commodious pockets.
-- Richard F. Shepard, "For Caring Chefs, Crowning Glory Is the Headgear", New York Times, August 15, 1990

This brought John to accept Benjamin Franklin's invitation to reside in his commodious quarters in Passy, a suburb at the city's edge.
-- Paul C. Nagel, John Quincy Adams: A Public Life, a Private Life

Fed by the melting ice packs, the ocean rose again, inundating coastal lowlands and pouring back through the Narrows, creating the commodious Upper Bay that would serve as the harbor of New York.
-- Edwin G. Burrows and Mike Wallace, Gotham: A History of New York City to 1898


Commodious derives from the Latin commodus, "conforming to measure, hence convenient or fit for a particular purpose," from com-, "with" + modus, "measure."

IKEA game

Guess what the product is, given only the wonky scandinavian name.

http://www.iamcal.com/games/ikea/

IKEA Catalog - Dog's Cock

Got to the IKEA online catalog

Zoom in on page 2

Look, then look again.

For those of you who can't wait, here is what you will see...



Now, becuase you don't believe me, go and check for yourself.

Tommy

Word of the Day

riparian \rih-PAIR-ee-uhn; ry-PAIR-ee-uhn\, adjective:
Of or pertaining to the bank of a river or stream.

Riparian areas are the green, vegetated areas on each side of streams and rivers. They serve many important functions, including purifying water by removing sediments and other contaminants; reducing the risk of flooding and associated damage; reducing stream channel and streambank erosion; increasing available water and stream flow duration by holding water in stream banks and aquifers; supporting a diversity of plant and wildlife species; maintaining a habitat for healthy fish populations; providing water, forage, and shade for wildlife and livestock; and creating opportunities for recreationists to fish, camp, picnic, and enjoy other activities.
-- Jeremy M. Brodie, "Ribbons of Green", Bureau of Land Management Environmental Education Home Page

Along its serpentine course, the Charles River widens and narrows, and its riparian sounds swell to crescendos in places or relax to the low purr of a river at peace.
-- Craig Lambert, Mind Over Water: Lessons on Life from the Art of Rowing

[The vireo's] comeback may prove that habitat along streams in Southern California is recovering from the effects of pollution caused by decades of urban development. That is a critical indicator of environmental health in a state that has lost 97% of its riparian woodlands, more than any other state.
-- Gary Polakovic, "Songbird's Numbers Crescendo", Los Angeles Times, August 22, 1999

[What about your social circle?] "A steady stream of brilliant American intellectuals visiting me in the riparian solitude of a beautifully reflected sunset."
-- Vladimir Nabokov, "Nabokov on Nabokov and Things", New York Times, May 12, 1968


Riparian is from the Latin, ripari-us + -an, from Latin ripa, the bank of a river.

IKEA Catalog - Dog's Cock

Go to the IKEA online catalog

Zoom in on page 2

Check out the dog.

assuage - Definitions from Dictionary.com

assuage [uh-sweyj, uh-sweyzh]

1. to make milder or less severe; relieve; ease; mitigate: to assuage one's grief; to assuage one's pain.
2. to appease; satisfy; allay; relieve: to assuage one's hunger.
3. to soothe, calm, or mollify: to assuage his fears; to assuage her anger.

[Origin: 1250-1300; ME aswagen < OF asouagier < VL *assuaviare, equiv. to L as- as- + -suaviare, v. deriv. of L suavis agreeable to the taste, pleasant (cf. suave; akin to sweet)]

Synonyms 1. alleviate, lessen.
Antonyms intensify.

Drunk Smoking Invention

I think this is brilliant, inexpensive and useful.

How many times have YOU been DRUNK and dropped your cigarette? I have, lots. See the problem is that the energy needed to keep hold of that fag is just too great to be diverted from the task of beer drinking.

The solution?

The BEERCIGALATOR!

Keeps your cigarette securely in place.

The BEERCIGALATOR in action

Yours for only £19.95, buy one, get one free! Available at all good WHSmiths, Rymans, and my hallway, after the postman has been.

Remeber to remove cigarette before it burns you, you twat.

Thoughts

I seem to have a bit of a beer head on.

It's like an antidote. I see it as the cure for the ailment of knowledge.

Alakazam! Knowledge begone!

Whilst I am chatting, I have decided that getting older is like playing a game like whack-a-mole. Cos I swear the hairs in my nose grow faster than I can rip them out. In the nose-hair plucking category I am on level 8 of curveball, and NOBODY ever got past level 8.

Take the Poll - Mike's Superhero Name

What should Mike's superhero name be? Arguman Argumento Max Power Pedanto

Just how good could I be?

I got sent this by a recruiter yesterday,

Good afternoon Adam,

Your CV was sent to me today via Monster (one of our online recruitment partners). I have read through your profile notes and now wondered if the job description as attached would be of any interest? The position is a permanent vacancy working for a media and entertainment company based in Battersea, SW London.

They now seek a Java Developer with a salary bracket on offer in the region of £25k - £40k (negotiable on experience) but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price!

If you are interested, please could you reply back to me with your full CV in Word format, confirming in the subject the job title that you would like to be considered for?

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me at your earliest convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Keith.

So I replied:


Keith,

Thanks for getting in contact.

Yes I do have one question. You said "but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price". Could I go for the lower end price? I am sure I could manage poor to low quality. Just exactly low low quality could I get away with for £25k? Is it as simple as half as good as the £40k, or does the scale start at £25k? Could I just grunt and dribble on myself for that price?

If I was willing to drop another, say £5K, could I just sit there and wet myself?

Thanks, I look forward to a potential interview.
Adam

New Numa!

Go Gary! Go Gary!

http://www.flabber.nl/archief/017595.php

My mum said

As my mother used to say, "leave him there, he can't fall any further."

It's such a shame my dad was a paraplegic.

Second Life Gets Sexier

If the Second Life Community Convention held last weekend in San Francisco is any sort of barometer, the people who get involved in online worlds are as socially adept and gregarious as anyone else.

The convention brought hundreds of Second Life residents together in person for a few days of panel presentations, field trips and parties. One of those panels was about sex, and I had the opportunity to kick it off with the five-minute version of my "how to have great cybersex" workshop.

Then Rhiannon Chatnoir revealed the truth about weddings and marriage within Second Life, setting the stage for Valadeza Anubis to discuss the benefits and dangers of exploring dominant and submissive play in-world.

If you've had avatar sex in Second Life, you probably have Stroker Serpentine of Strokerz Toys to thank. Stroker, famous for creating avatar genitals and sex animations and other complex in-world sex tech, accepted the microphone in his turn and began simply, "My name is Stroker Serpentine, and I am a pervert." The audience roared its approval.

Finally, qDot Bunnyhug, who is known outside of Second Life as robotics engineer and "intimate interfaces" blogger Kyle Machulis, presented the first open-source interface for controlling sex toys from within the virtual world.

From Wired... rest of article here

Enjoy a five night Christian cruise to the Bahamas

Just imagine, five nights aboard a luxurious ocean liner, listening to some of the best preachers and teachers in America. Gone are the party crowds and the “Vegas” style shows. We have replaced them with Christian speakers, entertainers, singers, and comedians. You will enjoy inspiring Gospel concerts by some of the top singers in Southern Gospel Music. Then laugh for hours with Christian comedians Geraldine & Ricky, and funnyman Ken Davis.

Yes, just imagine!

http://www.templetontours.com/TTIJBS.HTML

I want a fucking car, right fucking now.

Classic Planes, Trains and Automobiles clip.

http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1155382056/Classic_Planes_Trains_And_Automobiles_Clip

Severance

Working nine to five is a real killer, but teambuilding holidays can be even worse. Seven colleagues find themselves faced with the chop when their corporate weekend is sabotaged by a deadly enemy.

Forget the office politics, only the smartest will survive this bloody office outing.

Released in UK cinemas on the 25th August 2006.

http://www.severancethemovie.co.uk/

Sad

:-(

new nigerian scam - don't fall for it

I couldn't possibly fall for it, other than fall around laughing.

Nigerian email scams are ten-a-penny. Dear sir, father murdered, bedside, $10,000,000 dollars (TEN MILLION DOLLARS), help me get it out of the country, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah.

Now there's a new one, which I have received twice in as many days. I'll copy it below in full, but here is a brief summary:

Dear sir, we've arrested loads of Nigerian email scammers. If you paid one of them please identify them from the list below then we can pay you back. AHA!

When will it end?

FOREIGN PAYMENT INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT
HEAD OFFICE ANTI FRAUD UNIT,
LION BULDING LAGOS-NIGERIA
MOTTO: SECURITY WATCH


From the desk of: Mr. Brian Williams

Attention:Sir/Madam

RE: Be warm of imposters.


Based on the finding OF this investigasting department,we wish to warn you against some imposter, which we were informed that are contacting you in respect to the payment of your fund in the total sum being owned you by the government of Nigeria being which been approved in your favour through our foreign payment bank HSBC Bank of London ect.

As a matter of fact we have been investigating this contract payment and the activities of these imposters to find the who really true beneficiary of the said payment, as lot of people has been fronted to claim the fund by some official of the corporation that awarded the contract, hence our aim is to stop fraudalent activities in this country.

Although we have been able to come up with some good result which led us to arrest of some of the imposters that have been extorting money from you and other contractors illegally.

We haveby wish to solicit your assitstance in identifing if any of the underlisted names has contacted you or you have made payment of any kind to them.

Your payment will be made once we are able to know which payment you have made, and for what reasons and also get the person/persons whom you paid the money to remit the money to authority the money were ment for.

Please indicate whom you paid by telling us his telephone numbers so that we will identify him amonng the arrested fellows with us and have him to remit the money he collected from you back to government and your fund will be release to your account without any further delay.

Find here the underlisted names used by these imposters that are on arrest:
1) PROF CHARLES SOLODO
2) CHIEF JOSEPH SANUSI
3)DR. R.RASHEED
4) BARRISTER AWELE
6)BARRISTER UCHEUZO WILLIAMS.
7)Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Ebi
Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
8)Mr. Tunde Lemo
Deputy Governor - Financial SectorSurveillance / Board Member 9)Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia Deputy Governor - Corporate Services /Board Member
10) Mr Gius Jackson Obaseki ( GROUP MANAGING DIRECTOR NNPC)
11)


The above listed names are been traced/investigated by the police and some of them have escaped from our country and may still be contacting you. if they are caught and find guilty he/she we go to jailed for 25years(twenty five years) as it is under the Degree 47 of the constituition of this bank under section of criminal law, So we are waiting for you to write us and inform us if any of the above names have once contacted you in respect to the your fund if yes dont waste time to indicate immediately.

Note that the this office and Eco Bank Nigeria Plc is the only mandate authority to act on behalf of the federal government to the release of your fund from HSBC banK of London.


You must deal directly with them and act accordlinly as that will be the only way to do achive the success of the transaction.

We applogise on behalf of the President and the people of Nigeria for any delay and lost this must have coursed you and promise that no such thing will not happen again.

And if you are dealing with any one even if his name is not yet listed regarding this payment we urge you to stop because you will be a vitim to these same group.

Finally, we are expecting to hear from you today.
Thanks for your good understanding while we wait for your urgent response to this mail.

Yours sincerely,
Brian Williams
Director: International Credit Control and Financial Surveillance

# posted by Tommy @ 11:17 AM

Comments:

Please can your yourself lucky, you are among the intelligent few who are able to match intelligent with sharp instinct minus greedy act. This qualities mentioned above is an impetus to escape the tricks of this so called Nigerian fraudsters.

Next time you receive this mail appear to be playing along, but keep the NIgerian Economic and financial crime commission (EFCC)in the picture.

You will be very surprised at how this effective set up is going to swung in to action.

# posted by wande : Wednesday, July 26, 2006 1:20:04 PM

Erm, I would rather not play along, if that's ok with you, or should I play along to the point where I give them my bank details, credit card number, address, shoe size, inside leg measurement and first-born child? I think I'll leave that up to the professionals.

Pleasure principle (psychology)

The pleasure principle and the reality principle are two psychoanalytical terms coined by Sigmund Freud.

Respectively, the desire for immediate gratification versus the deferral of that gratification. Quite simply, the pleasure principle drives one to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. However, as one matures, one begins to learn the need sometimes to endure pain and to defer gratification because of the exigencies and obstacles of reality: "An ego thus educated has become reasonable; it no longer lets itself be governed by the pleasure principle, but obeys the reality principle, which also at bottom seeks to obtain pleasure, but pleasure which is assured through taking account of reality, even though it is pleasure postponed and diminished" (Sigmund Freud, Introductory Lectures 16.357).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pleasure_principle_%28psychology%29

Relative sizes of planets and stars

When you views this series of images you realise just how small and insignificant the planet earth really is.

http://www.rense.com/general72/size.htm

That's it, I'm off to top myself. :)

Do you have what it takes to become a (U.S.) citizen?

When immigrants want to become Americans, they must take a civics test as part of their naturalization interview before a Citizenship and Immigration Services officer. The questions are usually selected from a list of 100 sample questions (see at http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/services/natz/English.pdf) that prospective citizens can look at ahead of the interview (though the examiner is not limited to those questions). Some are easy, some are not. We have picked some of the more difficult ones.

Should you be welcomed immediately to the Land of the Free or sent home for some more homework? Find out!

(PLEASE NOTE: These questions are as asked on the official United States Immigration and Naturalization Services Web site. Candidates are not given multiple choices in the naturalization interview, which is conducted orally.)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13442226/

Some Very Cool Advertising

http://www.thecoolhunter.net/ads/

Pianolina

Physics based piano. I can't say anything more, you just have to try it, it's genius.

http://www.grotrian.de/spiel/e/spiel_win.html

Word Of The Day

billingsgate \BIL-ingz-gayt; -git\, noun:
Coarsely abusive, foul, or profane language.

Chaney would yell at him in his own particular patois -- an unapologetic stream of billingsgate far more creative than Marine drill instructors or master rappers.
-- George Vecsey, "Learning at Temple: Se Habla Chaneyism", New York Times, March 19, 2000

Its style is an almost pure Army billingsgate that will offend many readers, although in no sense is it exaggerated: Mr. Mailer's soldiers are real persons, speaking the vernacular of human bitterness and agony.
-- David Dempsey, "The Dusty Answer of Modern War", New York Times, May 9, 1948

The campaigns of the two Roosevelts were colorful and gave the press plenty of material but, generally speaking, deft humor seems to have replaced outright billingsgate.
-- George E. Reedy, "When Vilification Was in Flower", New York Times, July 15, 1984



Billingsgate is so called after Billingsgate, a former market in London celebrated for fish and foul language.

France launches cyber-budget game

The French government has launched an online game that challenges taxpayers to balance the national budget of nearly 300bn euros ($373bn).

Budget Minister Jean-Francois Cope says the game, called "cyber-budget", will allow citizens to pretend they are in charge of the national finances.

They can make decisions about spending revenue and cutting taxes.

Mr Cope says the game is as realistic as possible and includes having to present a draft budget to parliament.

The game was launched on the website www.cyber-budget.fr.

Players face national and international constraints on their budget choices and the game includes negotiations with other ministers and unexpected events, the French news agency AFP reports.

"The idea is that when we cut taxes, we can't do it without creating deficits," Mr Cope told French television ahead of the launch.

"It allows each person to get familiar with how [the budget] functions.

"In this game each French person can pretend they are the budget minister and make decisions to understand how much each [ministry's] budget costs, education spending, military spending, how it's all organised and see what kind of decision we can take when we want to cut taxes."

As budget minister, Mr Cope has to ensure France stays within the EU budget deficit limit of 3% of GDP.

http://www.cyber-budget.fr/ - in French.

The science behind the swerve

Adidas's Teamgeist World Cup ball has already been criticised by Germany and Arsenal keeper Jens Lehmann for its unpredictability, but is there any scientific basis for perennial concerns over swerving balls?

In the early 1950s a young Brazilian midfielder nicknamed Didi invented the swerving free kick. He realised that a ball kicked with spin would deflect significantly in flight.

It is no accident that the technique emerged first in the South American game. The leather ball of that era was very prone to water absorption and the weight increase made it much less responsive to the aerodynamic forces caused by the spin. This was seldom a problem in the warm, dry conditions of Brazil but a serious drawback in Europe's winter game.

Not until a ball with a synthetic, impermeable surface was introduced in the 1960s could the technique catch on. European players then became as adept as their Brazilian masters and a long line of expert free-kickers stretches from Didi to the present day.

Few can forget David Beckham's marvellous last-gasp equaliser against Greece in 2001. This wickedly swerving and dipping shot took England to the 2002 World Cup in Japan and Korea and England's recent warm-up games against Hungary and Jamaica show that Beckham is back to top form.

It took the modern science of fluid dynamics to understand exactly what happens in a swerving free kick. When a football moves through the air at low speed the air flow separates from its surface at characteristic points.

A sphere is not a very efficient aerodynamic shape and when this early separation occurs turbulence is created behind the ball. Turbulence always causes drag and if things remained like this a football would be a very sluggish object when kicked.

Above a certain speed - about 12 mph for a football - a miraculous thing happens. Turbulence begins to move backwards, producing a boundary layer - a layer of very thin flow very close to the ball's surface - and this has the effect of causing the air flow to cling more closely to the ball's surface.

Turbulence is reduced and the drag plummets. When this happens we say that the boundary layer is "tripped" and since most of footballs' actions such as kicking or throwing take place above the critical speed the ball can be moved around in a pacey manner.

When the ball rotates the boundary layer remains tripped but the air flow separation around the ball is distorted. Separation occurs earlier on the side rotating against the flow and later on the side rotating in the same sense as the flow. This causes a pressure differential and a deflecting force which is responsible for moving the ball in the air in a free kick.

It was not realised for many years that the boundary layer was tripped by surface "imperfections", in fact by the slight indentations where the ball's panels are joined together.

More panels means more seams and greater aerodynamic stability but panel designs have varied enormously over the years. For example, the familiar hexagon-pattern ball has 32, the classic English model 26.

The new World Cup ball, Adidas' Teamgeist, has only fourteen panels, however. Might this be the factor behind the disquiet expressed by Jens Lehmann? To see why this might be so we can take a look at a very simple object, the baseball which has only two panels separated by a continuous seam.

Baseball pitchers conventionally swerve the ball by throwing it with spin. This "curveball" is very similar to a swerving free kick and the rotating seam trips the boundary layer in much the same way as a football does.

Occasionally though, pitchers serve up a wicked delivery known as the "knuckleball". This bobs about randomly in flight and is very disconcerting for batters. It happens because pitchers throw the ball with very little spin. Then, as the limited seam rotates lazily in the air flow, it trips the boundary layer at certain points on the surface.

This causes an unpredictable deflection which may be completely reversed when another portion of the seam rotates into the critical position. The key, of course, is to ensure a very low spin rate, easier to achieve in a baseball throw than a kick. But this does occasionally happen in football and then the panel pattern can have a big influence on the trajectory.

The Teamgeist ball with its 14 panels is aerodynamically closer to the baseball than either English ball with 26 panels or the 32 panel hexagon pattern. So no problem when the Teamgeist spins but watch out if it is kicked with a very slow rotation rate.

Goalkeepers are often criticised for punching or palming away balls which are moving unpredictably, rather than catching them cleanly, but they can be forgiven if they are facing football's equivalent of a knuckleball.

There will be plenty of spectacular scoring free kicks at the forthcoming World Cup and elite performers like David Beckham, Thierry Henry and Ronaldinho must be itching to get the ball at their feet. Watch the slow motion replays for the tell-tale movement of the markings on the ball, the best indicator for revealing the kind of spin applied in the shot: sidespin for players like Henry and Ronaldinho but a vital component of topspin when Beckham unleashes his special delivery.

Most of all look for the rare occasions when the shot produces little or no rotation and the frantic efforts of the poor goalkeeper struggling to come to terms with the ball's chaotic, meandering flight path. We are in for an enthralling four weeks of football.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/5048238.stm

The Man Who Saved the World Finally Recognized

Sirens blaring, warning lights flashing, computer screens showing nuclear missiles on their way, one man in charge of a red button labeled “START” - that’s start a retaliatory strike — and a roomful of people at their terminals and switchboards waiting for him to push it. Sound like a typical Hollywood Cold War cliffhanger?

It was indeed just like in the movies, says the man who was poised over the red button over twenty years ago, except “in the movies, Hollywood specialists and directors can stretch a little situation into half an hour. In our case, from the time I made the decision to when it was all over, it was five minutes max.”

Stanislav Petrov was a Soviet army officer monitoring the satellite system for signs of a U.S. attack, the year was 1983, and his instructions, if he detected missiles targeting the Soviet Union, were to push the button and launch a counter-offensive.

He didn’t. Minutes later, no missiles came; months later, the frightening data across his monitor was determined to have been a system glitch. Today, the Association of World Citizens is calling him “the forgotten hero of our time,” a title befitting the man whose responsibility had been to start World War III.


http://www.mosnews.com/feature/2004/05/21/petrov.shtml

DJ Postit

I want one, cool.

http://www.flabber.nl/archief/016448.php

Google Oscars

http://blog.outer-court.com/archive/2006-05-22-n34.html

He says, as he types this into Bogger, doh.