Nerd Jokes

* F(x)= sin(x) walks into a restaurant and orders some soup. The waiter replies, "Sorry but we don't cater for functions here."

* I have a complex relationship with my girlfriend. I'm Real, and she's Imaginary...

* What's got feathers and goes "Pieces of seven, pieces of seven?" A parroty error.

* An infinite number of mathematicians go into a bar. One asks for a pint of beer, the next asks for a half. The third asks for a quarter of a pint, and the fourth asks for an eighth of a pint. The barman pours two pints and says "Just sort it out among yourselves".

* Why do Java programmers need glasses? Because they can't C sharp.

* Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

* Two atoms are shooting the shit one day
ATOM 1: Mate, I think I've lost an electron.
ATOM 2: Are you sure?
ATOM 1: Yep, I'm positive.

* Some people think the glass is half empty. Some people think the glass is half full. Database admins think the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

* Two spiral galaxies walk into a pub. The landlord says "I can serve *you*..." (points at the first), "but not *you*..." (points at the second). "Why not?" - "Because you're barred."

And my personal favourite:

* Your mother is so fat she sat on a Binary Tree and turned it into a linked list in real time.