Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Doh Doh Doh
Agence France Presse published a photo of Katrina hurricane victim Latesha Vinette holding her new Red Cross debit card, a picture that was instantly redistributed on Yahoo! News and other wire service web sites. Shockingly, the balance on the card dropped to ZERO within minutes, as hundreds of fraudsters went on shopping sprees with the card number. A few hours later, Vinette was paged over the Reliant stadium speaker system to receive a call from Mastercard, which wanted to know about cash-advance requests totaling $65,237, and attempts to use the card to buy a Ferrari and hundreds of other goods on eBay.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Games Update
Thing Thing 2 - Much better than Thing Thing - side scrolling death and mayhem aplenty.
Submachine - very annoying, but I bet you can't stop playing.
Stickman Sam 2 - More side scrolling death and mayhem.
Submachine - very annoying, but I bet you can't stop playing.
Stickman Sam 2 - More side scrolling death and mayhem.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
How To Deal With Telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . ." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are
you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you
BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
Actually this one I use myself...
12. Ask them to hold on, then just leave the phone off the hook and go do something more interesting.
Just like the indian restaurant trick recently performed on Radio One, I wonder if it's possible to get two telemarketers talking to each other on the phone, trying to sell each other their own shit?
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . ." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services....
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are
you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you
BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Yeah! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
Actually this one I use myself...
12. Ask them to hold on, then just leave the phone off the hook and go do something more interesting.
Just like the indian restaurant trick recently performed on Radio One, I wonder if it's possible to get two telemarketers talking to each other on the phone, trying to sell each other their own shit?
Made-up Words In The Simpsons
Several memes, words and phrases (often neologisms) that started on The Simpsons television series have now become mainstream words or sayings. The most famous of which is Homer's saying: "D'oh!", which is referred to in scripts, as well as several episode names, as "annoyed grunt". D'oh is now listed in the Oxford English Dictionary and even in smaller ones such as OUP's one volume Oxford Dictionary of English (second edition). Other memes are:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made-up_words_in_The_Simpsons
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made-up_words_in_The_Simpsons
Waiter, there’s a diamond in my drink
Had a win at bingo recently? For the ultimate in extravagance, get down to the Sheraton Park Tower’s Piano Bar and order what is possibly the most bling drink on the planet – the Louis XIII Diamond Cocktail.
Dubbed "London’s Most Exclusive" the Cognac and Champagne cocktail is served in a crystal martini glass and garnished with … wait for it - a individually selected diamond. So how much will this display of fabulous-ness set you back? Well, it depends on the size of the rock, but you won’t get much change out of £4,000 for a one-carat diamond. And if that’s not enough, larger diamonds can be ordered in advance.
Louis XIII Diamond Cocktail Ingredients
Shot of Remy Martin Louis XIII
Charles Heidsieck Champagne
2 drops of Angostura bitters
1 sugar cube
A fabulous diamond or distinctive item of jewellery
The Piano Bar, Sheraton Park Tower, 101 Knightsbridge SW1
Dubbed "London’s Most Exclusive" the Cognac and Champagne cocktail is served in a crystal martini glass and garnished with … wait for it - a individually selected diamond. So how much will this display of fabulous-ness set you back? Well, it depends on the size of the rock, but you won’t get much change out of £4,000 for a one-carat diamond. And if that’s not enough, larger diamonds can be ordered in advance.
Louis XIII Diamond Cocktail Ingredients
Shot of Remy Martin Louis XIII
Charles Heidsieck Champagne
2 drops of Angostura bitters
1 sugar cube
A fabulous diamond or distinctive item of jewellery
The Piano Bar, Sheraton Park Tower, 101 Knightsbridge SW1
Smoking is EVIL
On the train station platform this morning I was standing waiting for my train, having a cigarette and a little woman walks up to me and thrusts a leaflet at me, asking if I would like to read it. I didn't take it and I could see from the cover that it was a religious-based stop smoking leaflet. I politely said no, thank you, and she went off to wait for her train. I forgot my iPod this morning and walked right past the Metro stand, even though I was well early enough to get one, and therefore didn't have anything to read. So, after I finished me fag, I went and found the woman again and asked her for the leaflet. I figured it would at least give me something to read on the train.
So, according to the leaflet, which is distributed by the Apostolic Faith Mission (UK) on behalf of the Apostolic Faith Church in Oregon, USA, smoking is a sin, and cigarettes are the work of the devil. Seemingly in the same way that the temptation of eating is too great, but you don't see christians flogging themselves with birch branches for gobbling down a slice of toast or two do you?
http://www.apostolicfaith.org
Excert from the website:
"Just as the gauges on the dashboard alert us to impending problems, God alerts us to areas in our spiritual lives that need attention."
Do you hear that? God is your oil-warning light.
So, according to the leaflet, which is distributed by the Apostolic Faith Mission (UK) on behalf of the Apostolic Faith Church in Oregon, USA, smoking is a sin, and cigarettes are the work of the devil. Seemingly in the same way that the temptation of eating is too great, but you don't see christians flogging themselves with birch branches for gobbling down a slice of toast or two do you?
http://www.apostolicfaith.org
Excert from the website:
"Just as the gauges on the dashboard alert us to impending problems, God alerts us to areas in our spiritual lives that need attention."
Do you hear that? God is your oil-warning light.
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