Excerpt From the forthcoming Penguin classic paperback
"What's wrong with Alan?" by Adam Phillips.
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language in the world has ever
produced the phrase 'as interesting as Alan'.
Some Alan's are uninteresting, some are really boring. Unfortunately for
me, the particular Alan I share an apartment with has actively sought for
his whole life to attain a degree of monotony, tedium and dullness that
could have only be brought about by a driving, all consuming passion for
lying down watching television.
He sits, or lays, watching TV, transfixed - unable to comprehend the
constantly moving shapes and bright colours. He is hypnotised by the
patterns and sounds. He watches closing credits as if looking for shapes in
the clouds.
To watch Alan at rest is to stare into the burning eyes of social death
itself. He does not consider the world outside as a real possibility. To
Alan, any area not in the line of sight of the TV is an area fraught with
danger. People lurk around every corner, wanting to communicate, to talk. To
him they are the dead and he is the living. Alan's world is contorted beyond
the outrageous.
The world runs against Alan's every desire - to be still and entertained.
The world out there is interesting, and it scares Alan.
