House of Mystery

Just up the road from where I live there's a House of Mystery. Oooooh. What's in there? Nobody knows. Maybe Marion's bag is in there.

Scenery at the Water Park

This is a collage photo of the scenery at our recent Diffiniti company away day. A great time was had by all, and the area was amazing.

Oh, and did I mention that we won the competition and that our prize was a hot tub and amany bottle of Champagne. Weee.

Thong thong thong thong THONG

I saw this girl whilst on the platform waiting for a train to IKEA recently. In the entire time I was waiting (20 minutes) she moved just enough for me to establish that she wasn't dead. I think she must have been really hung over.

Where's Marion's Bag

Feel free to contribute...

Wikipedia - Where's Marion's Bag

France, England, Rugby, Bad

France 22, England 9

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Damn froggies. (0:

Can't Sleep

"I am off to try to sleep now. I have the most amazing memories of you, and I miss you so much. I can't sleep at night for thinking about you. When you can't be in my arms you are always in my dreams. When you are in my arms my dreams are complete."

Thirsty on Sundy

I was soooo thirsty last night I drank four cans of beer in under 35 minutes.

I think I may have issues...

...like running out of fucking beer!

Pete's Birthday

I just turned 48, far as I know.

I think.

Never been good at maths, which may explain the £4,000,000 loss on NPI.

Swings and bottomless pits, still, “that’s business !” eh ?

If you’re looking for a present for me then you might like to look at these :

http://www.firebox.com/?dir=firebox&action=product&aff=1108&pid=415
http://www.carver-worldwide.com/Home/Index.asp?nc=1
http://www.seriouswheels.com/cars/top-2004-Volvo-Extreme-Gravity-Car.htm
http://www.gizmag.com/go/4681/gallery/

I think it’s probably a mid-life crisis.

Although it’s a strange one, because I’m thinking that they could all use diesel or sterling engines for economy.

And they could probbaly benefit from some sturdy driving gloves and a soft cloth cap.

Where on earth do they keep their maps ?

Do they have a glove compartment ?

Where do they store their gloves ?

Does the tax disc holder come as standard ?

These people just haven’t thought it through.

Central locking ? ABS ? ESD ? TDI ? GSO ? Satellite Navigation ? JHG ? NN3, 4TW ?

More than one of the previous may have been a postcode. I’m not sure. I’m old, now. It’s all meaningless.

But I do like a nice cup holder.

And some warm gloves.



Underwear is good too, but for different reasons

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

Fuck the PO-LEEECE

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

FUCK THE POLICE!

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

http://digg.com/tech_deals/AWESOME_NEW_CHEAT_CODE_09_F9_11_02_9D_74_E3_5B_D8_41_56_C5_63_56_88_C0

http://blog.digg.com/?p=74

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-d8-41-56-c5-63-56-88-c0

----

ALL RIGHT LET'S DO THIS,..... LEROY 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Yeah banned.

At least I got chicken

Which Station is This?

This picture was taken on the underground and is of a poster advert for Capital FM. It shows a train station (I would assume it's in London, but I can't be sure of that).

I have looked on google maps but I can't work out which one it is. The nearest I have come is London Bridge station - which looks nearly the same, but not identical.

Please help, things like this drive me potty. Click on the picture above for a bigger view.

Magnum P.I. in Brixton

Can anybody tell me why this is on the pavement outside my house? There's another one down the road too.

New York to London - Google Style

Take 60 seconds to do this, I guarantee you will show someone else, it's
too funny not to.

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box) (hit get directions)
6. scroll down to step #23

Web 2.0

Have you, like me, ever sat in a meeting and wondered exactly what-ah-THE-FUCK Web 2.0 ACTUALLY IS?

Well wonder no more with this handy little guide from a professor, or something.

No, but really it's pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gmP4nk0EOE

Fun with SkyTV Captions

I was just browsing around the other day and found this, don't ask how ;)

More Recruiter Shennanigans

Got this yesterday, got it three times:

Dear Consultant

Our Brussels based client requires a Senior J2EE Dev/Architect/Designer for a 3 month contract, with the possibility of going permanent in the long term. The spec is as follows:

So I asked him to stop sending them to me:

Ok, please stop sending these

No thanks

He didn't take the hint:

My apologies Adam. For some reason you appeared 3 times on our database. I have corrected the error.

What is your current status?

So I told him what my current status is:

Mike,

My current status is; alive, breathing, sitting, drinking a cup of coffee. Sometimes my status is nose-picking, but I had breakfast this morning so that won’t be necessary today.

Oh, you mean work status? I am employed full-time, although the above statuses still count too.

Apparently he does have a sense of humour:

Thanks. Glad to hear you’re not starving!

Recruiter Alert

I got this email from a recruiter recently:

Good afternoon Adam,

Your CV was sent to me today via Monster (one of our online recruitment partners). I have read through your profile notes and now wondered if the job description as attached would be of any interest? The position is a permanent vacancy working for a media and entertainment company based in Battersea, SW London.

They now seek a Java Developer with a salary bracket on offer in the region of £25k - £40k (negotiable on experience) but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price!

If you are interested, please could you reply back to me with your full CV in Word format, confirming in the subject the job title that you would like to be considered for?

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me at your earliest convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Keith.

I was particularly intrigued by the line, "£25k - £40k (negotiable on experience) but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price!"

So I replied:

Keith,

Thanks for getting in contact.

Yes I do have one question. You said "but they will be expecting high quality for the upper end price". Could I go for the lower end price? I am sure I could manage poor to low quality. Just exactly how low quality could I get away with for £25k? Is it as simple as half as good as the £40k, or does the scale start at £25k? Could I just grunt and dribble on myself for that price?

If I was willing to drop another, say £5K, could I just sit there and wet myself?

Thanks, I look forward to a potential interview.
Adam

Interestingly he replied, I guess the humour was lost on him. He did allude to my use of humour, but I can only imagine he forwarded my email to someone in his office, who pointed out my clandestine subtleties:

Adam,

Thank you for your entertaining response…!

If you are willing to be considered, please complete the attached tech test which I will want back by end of day tomorrow. It's open book and I normally give candidates 24 hours to do it. It's a test of research and initiative as well as a test of current knowledge.

If you’re up for the challenge, I look forward to receiving your effort. From here, we can see just how much of a fit you have for the role.

Best regards, Keith.

Ps I will also need your full CV in Word format.

I took this picture looking south down Bishopsgate using a mobile phone. It was in December when the sun was really low in the sky, late one afternoon.

I think it looks like a zombie movie.

The Imperial System

Whilst watching the film Seabiscuit the other day, I realised that I had absolutely no idea what a furlong is. I know it's a unit of measurement of length, but its exact length escaped me. In my search for the truth is dicovered that a furlong is 660 feet, or 7920 inches, or 220 yards, or 1,000 links, or 40 poles, or 10 chains. See?

I have also discovered a number of other units of measurement that have become lost in time.

I think we should resurrect:
Chains
Poles
Links
Leagues
Roods
Pecks
Kennings
Buckets
Strikes
Pails
Chaldrons
Lasts
Firkins
Kilderkins
Hogsheads
Gills
Minims
Scruples
Grains
and Drachms (my favourites - they are 1/16th of an ounce ;-) )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_unit

Is it any wonder we had to give the empire their flags back?

Stop the Little Guy Laughing

The God Who Wasn't There

Bowling for Columbine did it to the gun culture.

Super Size Me did it to fast food.

Now The God Who Wasn't There does it to religion.

Holding modern Christianity up to a bright spotlight, this bold and often hilarious new film asks the questions few dare to ask.

Your guide through the world of Christendom is former fundamentalist Brian Flemming, joined by such luminaries as Jesus Seminar fellow Robert M. Price, professor Richard Dawkins, author Sam Harris and historian Richard Carrier.

http://thegodmovie.com/index.php

Komodo Free Firewall

"You need a good firewall? I used to use Zonealarm, but this one is tested better: Comodo Free Firewall

The Award-Winning Comodo Firewall. PC Magazine Online's Editor's Choice. Secures against internal and external attacks. Blocks internet access to malicious Trojan programs. Safeguards your Personal data against theft. Delivers total end-point security for Personal Computers and Networks. Install now for out-of-the-box protection against identity theft hackers, Trojans, scripts and other unknown threats"

http://www.personalfirewall.comodo.com/

Jamendo - Free Music

On jamendo, artists allow everyone to download and share their music. It's free, legal and unlimited.

Like some artists? Pay them directly or just spread the word about them.

Welcome to our free music world.

http://www.jamendo.com/

Jetman!

"Finally, and this since last Autumn, his dream became reality mainly because of 4 model-engines which were built under his wings. With these, he can fly at over 200km/hr at the conquest of mountain summits. During the flight, Yves's body becomes the likes of a bird and other than a gas handle, Yves does not pilot his wings but veritably flies it, by using various light body movements that he has learned to handle with perfection. These body movements are equal to those that birds use to fly"

http://www.jet-man.com/actuel_eng.html

The Real Idiots at Christmas

100% with them here...

Line Rider - Urban Run

http://www.flabber.nl/archief/018747.php

These dudes hooked up their Wii's in a cinema - and went bowling http://www.flabber.nl/archief/018774.php

Silver Surfer - First Peek

The first pics of the upcoming Fantastic Four sequel are hitting the Internet. The addition of the much anticipated Silver Surfer to the Fantastic Four movie has many fans on edge to see if the producers can pull it off. Check out the teaser trailer and pics to find out for yourself.

http://daveandthomas.blogspot.com/2006/12/fantastic-four-and-rise-of-silver.html

Drunk Celebrities

It's not rocket science, it's just pictures of drunk celebrities...

http://paparazzi.blogter.hu/?post_id=105891

Sand watch

From looking at the previous couple of posts you might have noticed that I discovered a design website with loads of really funky new things on it. Here's one that I missed out on for christmas - the sand watch.

Ooooh - taps!

"Ring faucet is about experiencing water in a whole new way in our daily lives --to rediscover the awe-inspiring beauty of water in a small home faucet. This unique faucet visually frames flowing water in a circular fashion, giving you a full view of the water just as it falls over the edge.The opening orifice at the spout end lets in natural light which illuminates the flowing water for a striking view. Water is ‘reinstated' as a precious element, like a fine diamond. The external form is simple and pure, as befits a faucet that is meant to emphasize the elemental beauty of water. The simple form allows the design to be easily translated into a series of faucets that cater to different settings and requirements. While the design is novel in terms of aesthetics, the sense of comfort in using a familiar domestic fitting is not lost as the faucet is designed to adopt the conventional interface of the hot and cold -handles basin mixer. Moreover, this tripartite arrangement fits in well with large basins and/or vanity tops."

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just show me the shiny TAPS.

Hamster is alive and kicking

Richard Hammon gave an interview on the christmas episode of Friday Night with Jonathon Ross, and there appears to be nothing wrong with him.

Ice Cold

Slightly more than he bargained for...

Kernickers

Chessboard Endgame

Obsessed with Iraq, we've lost sight of the rest of the world.

BY GARRY KASPAROV

For the past few years, the dictators and terrorists have been gaining ground, and with good reason. The deepening catastrophe in Iraq has distracted the world's sole superpower from its true goals, and weakened the U.S. politically as well as militarily. With new congressional leadership threatening to make the same mistake--failing to see Iraq as only one piece of a greater puzzle--it is time to return to the basics of strategic planning.

Thirty years as a chess player ingrained in me the importance of never losing sight of the big picture. Paying too much attention to one area of the chessboard can quickly lead to the collapse of your entire position. America and its allies are so focused on Iraq they are ceding territory all over the map. Even the vague goals of President Bush's ambiguous war on terror have been pushed aside by the crisis in Baghdad.

The U.S. must refocus and recognize the failure of its post-9/11 foreign policy. Pre-emptive strikes and deposing dictators may or may not have been a good plan, but at least it was a plan. However, if you attack Iraq, the potential to go after Iran and Syria must also be on the table. Instead, the U.S. finds itself supervising a civil war while helplessly making concessions elsewhere.

This dire situation is a result of the only thing worse than a failed strategy: the inability to recognize, or to admit, that a strategy has failed. Since the invasion of Iraq in March 2003, North Korea has tested a nuclear weapon. Iran is openly boasting of its uranium enrichment program while pouring money into Hezbollah and Hamas. A resurgent Taliban is on the rise in Afghanistan. Nearly off the radar, Somalia is becoming an al Qaeda haven. Worst of all is the answer to the question that ties all of these burning fuses together: No, we are not safer now than we were before.
The seeds for this situation were sown in the one real success the West has had. The attack on the Taliban and al Qaeda in Afghanistan went so well that the U.S. and its allies did not appreciate all the reasons for the success. Almost every player on the world stage benefited from the attack on Afghanistan. The rout of the Sunni Taliban delighted Iran. Russia and China have no love for religious extremism near their borders. India was happy to see the U.S. launch a direct attack on Muslim terrorists.

Only Pakistan was put under uncomfortable pressure, although even there, Pervez Musharraf has been able to play both sides well enough to appear to be an essential ally to the West, while terrorists and weapons cross his borders freely. Gen. Musharraf has perfected the formula of holding himself up as the last defense against the extremists in order to gain immunity for his dictatorship. Not only was there a confluence of world opinion aided by sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, but the proverbial bad guys were undoubtedly bad, and we knew where they were. As subsequent events have shown, effectively bombing terrorists is a rare opportunity.

Learning from our defeats is obvious, but too often we fail to appreciate the reasons for our successes; we take them for granted. The U.S. charged into Iraq without appreciating the far greater difficulty of the postwar task there, and how it would be complicated by the increasingly hostile global opinion of America's military adventures.

America's role as "bad cop" has been a flop on the global stage. Without the American presence in Iraq as a target and scapegoat, Iraqis would be forced to make the hard political decisions they are currently avoiding. We won't know if Iraq can stand on its own until the U.S. forces leave. Meanwhile, South Korea and China refuse to take action on North Korea while accusing the U.S. of provocative behavior. How quickly would their attitudes change if the U.S. pulled its troops out of the Korean Peninsula? Or if Japan--not to mention Taiwan--announced nuclear weapon plans?

From Caracas to Moscow to Pyongyang, everyone follows their own agenda while ignoring President Bush and the U.N. Here in Russia, for example, Vladimir Putin gets Mr. Bush's endorsement for membership to the World Trade Organization while selling advanced air defense missile systems to Iran and imposing sanctions on Georgia, itself a WTO member. WTO membership is not going to benefit ordinary Russians, but it will provide more cover for Mr. Putin and his gang of oligarchs to continue to loot the country and launder the money abroad with no resistance from a distracted, discredited and enfeebled West.

We might not know what works, but we have many fine examples of what doesn't work, and we cannot continue to ignore them. As the world's sole superpower, the U.S. has become a lightening rod. Any intervention causes resentment, and even many traditional allies oppose U.S. plans almost out of hand. America's overly proactive foreign policy has also allowed other nations to avoid responsibility for their own safety, and to avoid making the tough decisions that come with that responsibility.

At the same time, the U.N. has become a perfect example of a broken institution. When leaders are afraid to take real action they go to the U.N., where they know nothing tangible will be achieved. Resolutions are routinely ignored without consequences and, in fact, are openly flouted. Hezbollah proudly waved weapons as the Israeli army left Lebanon, and the kidnapped Israeli soldiers have yet to be released.

So what then, to do? "Mission accomplished" jokes aside, the original goals in Iraq--deposing Saddam Hussein and holding elections--have been achieved. Nation-building was never on the agenda, and it should not be added now. All the allied troops in the world aren't going to stop the Iraqi people from continuing their civil war if this is their choice. As long as Muslim leaders in Iraq and elsewhere are unwilling to confront their own radical elements, outsiders will be spectators in the line of fire.
As for stability, if allied troops leave Iraq: What stability? I won't say things can't get worse--if we've learned anything, it's that things in the Middle East can always get worse; but at least the current deadly dynamic would be changed. And with change there is always hope for improvement. Without change, we are expecting a different result from the same behavior, something once defined as insanity.

Mr. Kasparov, a former world chess champion, is chairman of the United Civil Front in Russia.

40 amazing facts about sleep

. Ducks at risk of attack by predators are able to balance the need for sleep and survival, keeping one half of the brain awake while the other slips into sleep mode

. After five nights of partial sleep deprivation, three drinks will have the same effect on your body as six would when you've slept enough

What about drunk ducks?

http://abc.net.au/science/sleep/facts.htm

Nectar - Everyone's a Spinner

What you need to know about the latest Nectar fuck-you-up-the-arse-for-your-email-confirmation-please-don't-block-our-emails-we're-not-spammer-honestly "offer".

What a load of old BOLLOCKS!

Here's what you do: Get one of the freaky Nectars (you remember the animated cartoon family that Nectar claimed was the first of it's kind ever - liars!) to spin the wheel and potentially win a prize.

There are 5651 prizes up for grabs which are split thus: One grand prize (£2074), 5 x 50,000 points (£1250), 30 iPods (£6599.70), 15 digital cameras (£1949.85), 50 x 10,000 points (£2500), 50 DVD Players (£2249.50), 500 x 1,000 points (£2500) and 5000 x 500 points (£12,500)

This makes a total prize fund of £31,623.05

Now that value is RRP, so the actual prize cost to Nectar is much less, but for the sake of argument let's says it's £30,000. Add on the marketing costs, the cost of the mailshot, and the technical cost of the website and competition, this could easily treble the cost. So let's say £100,000 as a nice, round figure. In fact it's probably much more.

But to enter the competition you must validate your email address.

All that effort to validate YOUR email address? I guess they need email addresses badly. Well, actually what they need is for you to validate you email address. They already have it, in fact they already have over 2 MILLION email addresses, but they can't validate all of them. This has caused them problems such as being classed as spammers by some of the email clients (email clients like, but maybe not including msn, hotmail, etc.)

Oh, wait, this just in, I didn't win, quel surprise! (Yes, I know, I played, what a twat!) But I got another email from the Nectards saying:

"Thanks again for playing Everyone's a Spinner. Although you didn't win a top prize we didn't want you to walk away empty-handed"

Aaaargh, they're going to cut my hands off!

No, but they are going to offer me the chance to have 8 FREE rentals at Blockbuster (when you sign up for their Unlimited DVD Rentals)

So I go to the Blockbuster website about this promotion and the first thing I notice is that it doesn't state a price. WAHAY! It must be free? No?

In the "10 reasons to join blockbuster.co.uk" it also states that:

3. We’ve got the fastest turnaround times in the UK *
4. We send more new releases per customer per month than anyone else *
6. We send more discs per customer per month than anyone else *

And that little asterix means "* based on mystery shopping survey by Tango Communications"

Ah, a mystery shopping survey, well that's ok then.

It's all BOLLOCKS. AAAARGH.

Sorry if you read to the end. There isn't much of a point to this. I just wanted to rant. :)

Pool Dominos

Brilliant, brilliant!



http://www.flabber.nl/archief/017876.php

Dashboard Mohammed

These are 10oz. ceramic bobbleheads, not cheap plastic. PERFECT stocking stuffers for Christmas or Hanukkah gifts, if you're a twisted freak like me.



http://www.dashboardmohammed.com/store.html

Another Spam Scam

Dear friend

I am Mr.alex baker a personal treasurer to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the Richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies: Chairman/CEO:YUKOS OIL (Russian's Largest Oil Company), Chairman/CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (Awell reputable financial institution with its Branches all over the world)

SOURCE OF FUNDS:
I have a profiling amount in an excess of US$35,000,000 which I seek your Partnership in accommodating for me. You will be rewarded with 20% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you be my partner on this?

INTRODUCTION OF MYSELF
As a personal treasurer to him, authority was handedover to me to transfer some money to an American oil merchant for his lastoil deal with my boss Mikhail Khodorkovsky. Already the funds have left the shore of Russia to a European private Bank where the final crediting is expected to be carried out. While I was on the process, My Boss got arrested for his Involvement in politics by financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, Ledby Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party Led by Gregor Yavlinsky) which poses a treat to President Vladimir Putin's SecondTenure as Russian president.

You can catch more of the story on this website:
http://there's_no_fucking_way_I_am_going_to_drive_your_traffic.com

YOUR ROLE:
All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the abovequoted Sum and I will re-profile the funds with your name, which will enable the European bank transfer the sum to you with the aid of an online bank inLondon. The transaction has to be Concluded before Mikhail Khodorkovsky isout on bail. As Soon as I confirm your readiness to conclude the transaction with me, I will provide you with the details. Please respond to my private email which is:
alex22baker@yahoo.com

Thank you very much
Regards
alex baker (Mr.)

Go on, drop Alex a line, tell him you love him for his bravado and daring-do.

Spackers

No, really, spackers...

http://www.hightreespackers.com/

Heh

110 Shots Fired - 68 Hit

"LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) -- Officers fired 110 rounds of ammunition at the suspect in the killing of a Polk County sheriff's deputy, according to an autopsy and records released by the sheriff's office Saturday."

"You have to understand, he had already shot and killed a deputy, he had already shot and killed a K-9 and he shot and injured another deputy," Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said by phone Saturday. "Quite frankly, we weren't taking any chances."

"Ten SWAT officers surrounded Freeland on Friday as he hid underneath brush and a fallen tree in a rural area. Authorities say he raised Williams' gun at them, prompting nine of the officers to fire."

But, this is my favourite quote, from Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd:

"I suspect the only reason 110 rounds was all that was fired was that's all the ammunition they had"

http://www1.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/MI30139/

Silly Lady

"Sorry, but if you had rental properties did it never occur to you to sell them off and realise the equity to help some of your problems?

I can't help but think that the help you have received from the mortgage lenders has come at least partly because you are writing about them on the BBC website. Of course they are more likely to be helpful.

I hardly think this kind of whinging and blogging activity will help the average person in real hardship with debt. You had many more ways out of debt than you seem to have considered."

Read the whole story here

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/5385866.stm

Word of the Day

fulsome \FUL-sum\, adjective:

1. Offensive to the taste or sensibilities.
2. Insincere or excessively lavish; especially, offensive from excess of praise.

He recorded the event in his journal: "Long evening visit from Mr. Langtree--a fulsome flatterer."
-- Edward L. Widmer, Young America: The Flowering of Democracy in New York City

Concealed disgust under the appearance of fulsome endearment.
-- Oliver Goldsmith, The Citizen of the World


Fulsome is from Middle English fulsom, from full + -som, "-some."

Get well Soon Hamster

Yesterday morning, after the news about the Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond's injuries in a crash at 280 miles per hour, a guy called Alex Goss put up a fundraising page on the charity fundraising website JustGiving. Alex's goal was to raise £340 on behalf of the Yorkshire Air Ambulance Service - the helicopter that picked up Richard and took him to hospital after the crash. £340 pays for - on average - one flight of the air ambulance, a worthy and noble cause.

Very quickly the total raised went well over the £340, and continued to gain momentum during the day. Alex updated the site with the new goal of £7500. About 4:30pm yesterday afternoon the BBC news website updated one of it's pages with the link to the fundraising website - JustGiving and it quickly shot up to just under £10,000 when I left work at 6pm.

I got into work this morning and Alex's site had again been updated with a new goal of £25,500 and has now raised £29,000. In fact in the time it has taken me to write this small blog entry the total has gone up to £29,937. With the Gift Aid reclaimed by just giving on the behalf of the donors, this total is now £37,616.38

Incredible from just a small goal of £340

http://www.justgiving.com/phrichardhammond

Well done Alex, top job mate!

Word of the Day

opprobrium \uh-PRO-bree-uhm\, noun:

1. Disgrace; infamy; reproach mingled with contempt.
2. A cause or object of reproach or disgrace.

Typically academic, they disdainfully observed about many university press books--"too dry, too specialized, too self-absorbed for us." In their world, the word "academic" was as much a term of opprobrium as the word "middlebrow" was in mine.
-- Janice A. Radway, A Feeling for Books

Five months after Malaysia incurred global opprobrium by closing off its currency and capital markets, its officials are in no mood to apologize.
-- Mark Landler, "Malaysia Says Its Much-Criticized Financial Strategy Has Worked", New York Times, February 14, 1999


Opprobrium derives from Latin opprobrare, "to reproach," from ob, "in the way of" + probrum, "reproach." The adjective form is opprobrious.

Leg hell woman 'taunted'

The Sun Online - News: Leg hell woman 'taunted'

A WOMAN suffering from an ‘Elephant Man’ condition yesterday told how she is taunted in the street by strangers.

Mandy Sellars, 31, has Proteus Syndrome which has caused her legs to grow to three times the size of her body.

Only around 120 people in the world suffer from the incurable disorder.

Her top half is a petite size 12 but 16-stone Mandy struggles to lift her legs which are 35 inches in circumference.

Brave Mandy, who suffers from arthritis, told ITV’s This Morning show: “Adults can be very hurtful. In a restaurant one blurted out ‘look at the size of those feet’.

“I don’t mind children staring, but adults should know better.”

Word of the Day

cataract \KAT-uh-rakt\, noun:

1. A great fall of water over a precipice; a large waterfall.
2. A downpour; a flood.
3. A clouding or opacity of the lens or capsule of the eye, which obstructs the passage of light.


Niagara is no virgin. Today, its cataract can be stopped with the pull of a lever, and less than half its natural flow pours over the precipice.
-- Thurston Clarke, "Roll Out the Barrel", New York Times, February 16, 1997

Bartram was an ace self-dramatizer and avid explorer of nature, whose journals are full of blood and thunder and such dramatic observations of animals as this one of the American crocodile: "His enormous body swells. His plaited tail brandished high, floats upon the lake. The waters like a cataract descend from his opening jaws. Clouds of smoke issue from his dilated nostrils."
-- Diane Ackerman, "Nature Writers: A Species Unto Themselves", New York Times, May 13, 1990

So ambitious is he to detail the full background of every individual, group, institution or phenomenon that figures in his chronicle . . . that a reader sometimes founders in the cataract of details.
-- Christopher Lehmann-Haupt, review of Common Ground, by J. Anthony Lukasm, New York Times, September 12, 1985

A cataract of names spills over the pages: Henry Kissinger, G. Gordon Liddy, Betty Ford, Frank Sinatra, Alice Roosevelt Longworth.
-- Richard F. Shepard, "How '60 Minutes' Ticks", New York Times, December 25, 1985


Cataract is from Latin cataracta, "a waterfall, a portcullis," from Greek kataraktes, katarrhaktes, from katarassein, "to dash down," from kata-, "down" + arassein, "to strike, dash."

Trivia hunters ask the textperts

Having just completed his PhD at Cambridge, Tom Ellis knows plenty about DNA.

But thanks to his current line of work, he is also in the enviable - and perhaps slightly disturbing - position of knowing exactly what questions are on the mind of the nation.

Tom is one of a growing band of textperts - people working for companies whose business is answering questions sent to them by text message.

And after BBC News spent a day with Tom and his employers, 82ask, it would be fair to say most of the queries are not of the deep and involved nature that his alma mater would approve of.

Certainly it is difficult to see how his thesis will help him in tackling such taxing teasers as "How long is the longest goldfish?" or "How tall is a smurf?".

While the number of questions received by the company is a commercial secret, they easily run into the hundreds each hour during the day and early evening.

Month-on-month growth has been close to 30%.

General trivia dominates from Monday to Thursday between 7pm and 10pm, a sign that perhaps not everyone is playing pub quizzes in the spirit they are intended.

By 11pm the queries become noticeably more abstract. "How do you go about becoming a nun?" asks one texter. "Why are platypuses poisonous if they look so cute?" says another. And then there is the age old question: "Which is better? Dogs or cats?"

"The animal comparison ones are more common than you'd think," says Tom, as he informs a customer exactly who would win a fight between a pigeon and terrapin.

"There are lots of slightly silly questions which crop up again and again. People must think they're being original, but they're not."

Amid the merriment, mirth and occasional bawdiness is a genuine hunt for more practical information, with users texting 82ask (82275) seeking anything from train times and weather forecasts to phone numbers and the location of florists.

Each answer they receive costs £1, expensive for a bit of indulgent trivia-hunting but perhaps better value if it is information needed quickly and reliably.

It was this concept, the desire for information on the go, that prompted Sarah McVittie and Thomas Roberts to quit their jobs with investment bank UBS and found 82ask.

It was a concept based largely on the premise that, while many mobile phones are enabled to cope with internet browsing, the trend has never really taken off.

"We've seen that people do not want to search through reams of information on their mobile phone," says Ms McVittie, the enthusiastic, Mandarin-speaking, motorbike loving co-director in the firm's bright and airy offices on a Cambridge terraced street.

"What people want is snippets, nuggets, short sharp facts."

Mr Roberts, who oversees technical developments at the firm, agrees.

"If you're in a social environment you just want to send a quick text and not spend time looking for something," he says.

"Rather than it taking five minutes of your time, it can take 30 seconds of your time and then five minutes of ours. We eliminate the need to search and give the content most relevant to customers, freeing you up to do other things."

Sport, science and entertainment are the most popular question categories, though queries are extremely event sensitive. The World Cup brought a surge in football teasers, while until recently each Friday produced a flurry of "Who has been evicted from Big Brother tonight?" type posers.

In a world of easily accessible information, answering them quickly sounds a fairly simple job.

But a few hours with Tom in his Cambridge flat shows that being a textpert is not about being able to use Google.

Answering trivia seems like an ideal job for someone who wishes they had applied for University Challenge or Fifteen To One.

On Tom's desk is a road atlas, a copy of 'The Economist Book of Figures' and at the foot of the wall-to-wall shelves, back issues of the Guinness Book of Records.

But these are clearly more for personal enjoyment than work, given most of the sources he uses are online, including the databases of football statistics provider Opta - not available to the general public.

When an answer cannot be found (and a Wikipedia entry is never enough for the firm to base an answer on), the question is passed to a shift supervisor who will often make phone calls (via Skype) to track down a solution.

Those posing particular questions, especially about health matters, are given contact details for expert advice.

But almost all other questions receive a direct answer - including ones such as "If you know everything, what is my name?" (the answer, by the way, will be along the lines of there being 11,782 John Smiths registered on the UK electoral roll so statistically you are most likely to be called John Smith).

"I do like a challenge," says Tom as he trawls a document on UK fishing exports, buried deep inside the Defra website.

"Most of it is stuff that everyone has access to, but they aren't in a position to look or don't know where to look. It's generally quite easy to get the answer they're after."

Given his work rate, he may be wishing he was paid per question, rather than on an hourly rate.

There are about 120 textperts employed by 82ask, including some in the US, and it is a competitive industry.

Only 1% to 2% of applicants get jobs (many are Oxford and Cambridge postgraduates) and are trained to put themselves in the mindset of the customer.

"If a question comes in at 11pm saying "Late bar. Clapham. Now" you tend to think they're in a bit of a rush so you might try to answer that one ahead of another that appears less urgent," Tom says.

It is an attitude that has helped the growth of the firm, largely through word of mouth.

Building the customer base is crucial, and not just because each answer generates an extra quid on the balance sheet.

The more people who use the service, the more efficient it also becomes.

With software recognising key words from questions, textperts are shown similar queries previously posed. It means that those asked regularly can be answered speedily.

"One of the most common questions to come in is about weather, but people ask for it in hundreds of different ways. The system can understand the ways that people ask for it, even if it is in 'text speak'," Mr Roberts says.

"Then it draws the data from a central source and can compose a reply. Textperts cast a glance over answers to ensure it seems correct but it is sent out without human intervention in 19 out of 20 cases."

For companies like 82ask, and its rival Any Question Answered (AQA) there is the potential for a revenue beyond its core business.

With many of the questions being consumer driven (Where can I get a DAB radio for under £50?; What is the cheapest flight from London to Paris this Saturday?) it is easy to see that advertising is another way for the company to make money.

"We are gathering a lot of data about who is asking what sort of questions and when, which is useful information to a lot of people," Ms McVittie says.

"So advertisers being involved is a definite possibility, but it could never affect the independence of the answer.

"We're talking to customers to see whether they would be happy to have an answer on a certain topic, brought in association with a particular product, if this made for a cheaper service."

Just as Tom bemoans another easy question, a more involved, and slightly perverse one arrives: "Who scored the 428th goal in the history of the Premiership?".

It takes him 20 minutes to work out which season it must have been scored, then which week before listing every goal scored, in order, to deduce it was Ray McKinnon for Nottingham Forest against Manchester City on 3 October 1992.

"That might not have been very cost effective," Tom says afterwards. "But one thing we're taught in training is that it's better to give a considered answer so that they come back and use us again.

"Mind you it's one of those that leaves you wondering why anyone would want to know that."


A smurf, by the way, is three apples tall.

Word of the Day

improvident \im-PROV-uh-duhnt; -dent\, adjective:
Lacking foresight or forethought; not foreseeing or providing for the future; negligent or thoughtless.

Elizabeth's husband . . . had been a reckless, improvident man, who left many debts behind him when he died suddenly of a consumption in September 1704.
-- David Nokes, Jane Austen: A Life

Lily is spoiled, pleasure-loving, and has one of those society mothers who are as improvident as a tornado.
-- Elizabeth Hardwick, Sight-Readings: American Fictions

He called the decision "an exercise in raw judicial power" that was "improvident and extravagant."
-- Linda Greenhouse, "White Announces He'll Step Down From High Court", New York Times, March 20, 1993


Improvident derives from Latin improvidens, improvident-, from im- (for in-), "not" + providens, provident-, present participle of providere, "to see beforehand, to provide for," from pro-, "before, forward" + videre, "to see."

Badmobile

Quick, to the badmobile!

Whilst using MSN Messenger today I noticed this advertisment down in the bottom corner:



Clicking on it takes you to the Sony Ericsson site. I wonder what they are trying to say?