tarradiddle \tair-uh-DID-uhl\, noun:
1. A petty falsehood; a fib.
2. Pretentious nonsense.
Oh please! Even in the parallel universe, tarradiddles of this magnitude cannot go unchallenged.
--"Taxation in the parallel universe," Sunday Business, June 11, 2000
Mr B did not tell a whopper. This was no fib, plumper, porker or tarradiddle. There was definitely no deceit, mendacity or fabrication.
--"Looking back," Western Mail, May 11, 2002
Other amendments, such as a chef at the birthday party, a dancing bear in the hunting scene, and a brief solo for the usually pedestrian Catalabutte, seemed more capricious, and the synopsis suggested further changes had been planned but perhaps found impractical. Some tarradiddle with roses for death and rebirth also necessitated different flowers for the traditional Rose Adagio.
--John Percival, "The other St Petersburg company," Independent, November 22, 2001
Tarradiddle is of unknown origin.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Exam Hall Games
Teachers have invented a version of the boys' game Battleships to relieve the boredom of invigilating exams, a study claimed yesterday.
They put crosses on a piece of paper marking the position of pupils with 'bad hair'.
The study found some teachers play tag as they move about the room. 'It is just like the real game but without any running,' said a contibuter to an exam antics website set up by the Time Educational Supplement.
The there is the game of 'chicken' in which teachers walk towards each other, the loser being the first to side-step to avoid colliding.
The nastiest game is ugly where a teacher stands beside the least good-looking pupil.
John Dunford, of the Secondary Heads Association, said the games did not bother pupils, whose main concern was the teachers' squeaky shoes.
They put crosses on a piece of paper marking the position of pupils with 'bad hair'.
The study found some teachers play tag as they move about the room. 'It is just like the real game but without any running,' said a contibuter to an exam antics website set up by the Time Educational Supplement.
The there is the game of 'chicken' in which teachers walk towards each other, the loser being the first to side-step to avoid colliding.
The nastiest game is ugly where a teacher stands beside the least good-looking pupil.
John Dunford, of the Secondary Heads Association, said the games did not bother pupils, whose main concern was the teachers' squeaky shoes.
Nan - At the NY Times
It's my friend Nan - doing a piece for the NY times!
"If you were wearing white, they'd rub off," she said, turning her back.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/20/garden/20ICFF.html
"If you were wearing white, they'd rub off," she said, turning her back.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/20/garden/20ICFF.html
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Real Band Names
http://www.metal-sludge.com/RealBandNames.htm
My personal favourite is "Alcoholocaust", which is the state Mike was fast approaching on Friday night.
My personal favourite is "Alcoholocaust", which is the state Mike was fast approaching on Friday night.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Word Of The Day
crabwise \KRAB-wyz\, adjective:
1. Sideways.
2. In a cautiously indirect manner.
Grass tells this story in awkward fashion, coming at it crabwise indeed, with hesitations, shifts of direction, and out of sequence, allowing his narrator to display his own confusion, uncertainty, resentment of a history that has deformed his own life.
--Allan Massie, review of Crabwalk, by Gunter Grass, [1]The Scotsman, April 5, 2003
Atwood moves crabwise through such questions as the place of moral or ideological content in art, the conflict between artistic purity and commercial necessity, and the nature of the relationship between writer, text and reader.
--Christopher Tayler, review of Negotiating with the Dead, by Margaret Atwood, [2]Sunday Telegraph March 10, 2002
Without taking his eyes from the road his left hand moved seamlessly from the old-fashioned gear stick to Sally's lap where, after a brief professional rummage, it moved crabwise on to me in the back seat.
--Sue Arnold, "The difference between a grope and a caress," [3]The Independent, October 4, 2003
1. Sideways.
2. In a cautiously indirect manner.
Grass tells this story in awkward fashion, coming at it crabwise indeed, with hesitations, shifts of direction, and out of sequence, allowing his narrator to display his own confusion, uncertainty, resentment of a history that has deformed his own life.
--Allan Massie, review of Crabwalk, by Gunter Grass, [1]The Scotsman, April 5, 2003
Atwood moves crabwise through such questions as the place of moral or ideological content in art, the conflict between artistic purity and commercial necessity, and the nature of the relationship between writer, text and reader.
--Christopher Tayler, review of Negotiating with the Dead, by Margaret Atwood, [2]Sunday Telegraph March 10, 2002
Without taking his eyes from the road his left hand moved seamlessly from the old-fashioned gear stick to Sally's lap where, after a brief professional rummage, it moved crabwise on to me in the back seat.
--Sue Arnold, "The difference between a grope and a caress," [3]The Independent, October 4, 2003
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
How to win an Online Argument
- Get friendly
Always refer to your opponent by his/her first name. Your messages will seem warm and friendly, despite the rabid ferocity of their content. After a few exchanges, begin to use a corruption of your opponent's name - begin with "William", then change to "Billy", then change to something like "Billy-Boy". Women don't enjoy having their names shortened either, so make sure that "Mrs. Elizabeth C. Osbourne-Smythe PhD, QC" is always addressed as "Lizzy". - Picky! Picky!
Criticising your opponents spelling or grammar will make you look pedantic. Far better to deliberately misread a message, then follow-up with an utterly incongruous statement. And if they make a factual error - no matter how small - make sure you're on hand to remind them of their error as often as possible. - Be selective
Selective editing is a good way to avoid engaging with your opponent's better arguments. Simply delete that intelligent, pointed question which ends paragraph three and reply instead to the weaker arguments beneath. Should your opponent post something like "I'm sorry but you're talking crap", snip everything but the first two words then graciously accept his apology. - Showboat
Once the argument is in full swing, publicly thank all those people who have e-mailed you privately with their messages of support. Claim that you are too busy to reply to each of them personally at the moment, but promise to continue fighting on their behalf. - You've got history
Boasting about how long you've been subscribed to a forum or newsgroup is not advised. Far better to make obscure references to the forum/newsgroup when only thirteen people knew it existed. Fondly recall a similar flame-war which took place in 1989 between "Big Al" and "Phyllis from Kent". If a newly arrived opponent produces a particularly strong argument, tell them that you've already discussed (and won) this debate last year and that you've no intention of repeating your crushing arguments all over again for their benefit. - There's lots of you
Always refer to yourself in the plural, as though you are speaking on behalf of the whole newsgroup: "all we are trying to say is..." sounds much more pompous than "all I am trying to say is...". When other people join in the thread, the rules are simple: if they side with you, follow-up immediately and enthusiastically, congratulating them on their courage; if they side with your opponent, ignore the tossers. - One step ahead
Pre-empt all replies. Tell your opponent that you know exactly how he or she is going to respond to your message because you've seen it all before. List all potential counter-arguments to your position and invite your opponent to choose one. - Beer and arguments don't mix
Never, ever, rejoin a long-running argument after ten pints in the pub. Although the devastating logic of your drunken ramblings will seem inescapable to you at the time, your opponent will lap up the incoherent, inconsistent, beer-troubled flaws in your argument and you'll be unlikely to recover. If you've been involved in a particularly vehement argument where you've staked your reputation on the line, get a friend to lock away your PC on pub nights. - Bamboozle with links
If your opponent's tenacity is proving too much for you, try a Google counter-attack. This involves posting up an endless stream of vaguely related links, insisting that there's more than enough evidence contained in the 50+ linked sites to crush any counter argument. Ensure you keep the references vague and preferably link to pages that are stuffed full of even more links. If your enemy can't find the evidence they're demanding, blame them for their lack of research skills - after all, you've already provided them with ample resources. - I didn't say that!
Never apologise for anything, ever. - Play dirty
Think the argument isn't going your way? Simply post one long, highly antagonistic message in which you completely misrepresent everything your opponent has said in the last three weeks. End by martyrishly declaring that the argument has dragged on for too long and that you have no choice but to kill-file/ignore your opponent. Ignore any further messages and/or quietly re-register under a new name. - Victory is yours!
Won the argument? Congratulations - but remember to be utterly unbearable in victory. Make generous excuses for your opponent's behaviour ("I know you primary school technicians can be under a lot of stress", "the menopause can be a very difficult time", etc), but retain a calm tone of superiority ("the important thing is to learn from your mistakes"). State that you hope your opponent stays around and reassure him/her that other subscribers are sure to forget all about this sorry business in a couple of years.
How to win an Argument
This post is copied in its entirety from http://www.ijmc.com/archives/1995/May/01May1995.html
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:
* Drink Liquor.
Suppose you're at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
* Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you're damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."
NOTE: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say "You left your soiled underwear in my bath house."
* Use meaningless but weightly-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
So to speak
well, any-who
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not."
Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say:
"Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."
You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say:
"Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."
Only a fool would challenge that statement.
* Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevent phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples and oranges.
What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.
Here's how to use your comebacks:
You say "As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873..."
Your opponents says "Lincoln died in 1865."
You say "You're begging the question."
OR
You say "Liberians, like most Asians..."
Your opponents says "Liberia is in Africa."
You say "You're being defensive."
* Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say" or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."
You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:
* Drink Liquor.
Suppose you're at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
* Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you're damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."
NOTE: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say "You left your soiled underwear in my bath house."
* Use meaningless but weightly-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
So to speak
well, any-who
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not."
Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say:
"Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."
You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say:
"Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."
Only a fool would challenge that statement.
* Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevent phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples and oranges.
What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.
Here's how to use your comebacks:
You say "As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873..."
Your opponents says "Lincoln died in 1865."
You say "You're begging the question."
OR
You say "Liberians, like most Asians..."
Your opponents says "Liberia is in Africa."
You say "You're being defensive."
* Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say" or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."
You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.
Word of the Day
bromide \BROH-myd\, noun:
1. A compound of bromine and another element or a positive organic radical.
2. A dose of potassium bromide taken as a sedative.
3. A dull person with conventional thoughts.
4. A commonplace or conventional saying.
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." The words are in fact already a bromide when the pompous Malvolio finds and reads them.
--Marjorie Garber, Symptoms of Culture
He cannot resist the occasional bromide: "Ninety percent of diplomacy is a question of who blinks first."
--Gary J. Bass, "The Negotiator," New York Times, July 11, 1999
The next president could live up to that old political bromide "Let's run the government like a business" by staffing his cabinet with some leading figures from the new world of business.
--Daniel H. Pink, "Fast.Gov," Fast Company, October 2000
Bromide was formed from the first element of English bromine and the suffix -ide; the pair of bromine/bromide parallel chlorine/chloride. Bromine itself comes from French brome, from Greek bromos, "bad smell." The adjective form is bromidic (pronounced \broh-MID-ik\).
Trivia: The figurative sense of "a dull, conventional person or saying" was popularized by American humorist Gelett Burgess in his book Are You a Bromide? (1906).
1. A compound of bromine and another element or a positive organic radical.
2. A dose of potassium bromide taken as a sedative.
3. A dull person with conventional thoughts.
4. A commonplace or conventional saying.
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." The words are in fact already a bromide when the pompous Malvolio finds and reads them.
--Marjorie Garber, Symptoms of Culture
He cannot resist the occasional bromide: "Ninety percent of diplomacy is a question of who blinks first."
--Gary J. Bass, "The Negotiator," New York Times, July 11, 1999
The next president could live up to that old political bromide "Let's run the government like a business" by staffing his cabinet with some leading figures from the new world of business.
--Daniel H. Pink, "Fast.Gov," Fast Company, October 2000
Bromide was formed from the first element of English bromine and the suffix -ide; the pair of bromine/bromide parallel chlorine/chloride. Bromine itself comes from French brome, from Greek bromos, "bad smell." The adjective form is bromidic (pronounced \broh-MID-ik\).
Trivia: The figurative sense of "a dull, conventional person or saying" was popularized by American humorist Gelett Burgess in his book Are You a Bromide? (1906).
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
An End to the Big Book of British Smiles?
New teeth 'could soon be grown'
Technology to grow replacement teeth could mean the end of dentures.
Scientists at King's College London have been awarded £500,000 to help them develop human teeth from stem cells.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3679313.stm
Technology to grow replacement teeth could mean the end of dentures.
Scientists at King's College London have been awarded £500,000 to help them develop human teeth from stem cells.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3679313.stm
Monday, May 10, 2004
Word Of The Day
sentient \SEN-shee-uhnt; -tee-; -shuhnt\, adjective:
1. Capable of perceiving by the senses; conscious.
2. Experiencing sensation or feeling.
I can remember very vividly the first time I became aware of my existence; how for the first time I realised that I was a sentient human being in a perceptible world.
--Lord Berners, First Childhood
Answers to such profound questions as whether we are the only sentient beings in the universe, whether life is the product of random accident or deeply rooted law, and whether there may be some sort of ultimate meaning to our existence, hinge on what science can reveal about the formation of life.
--Paul Davies, The Fifth Miracle
Sentient comes from Latin sentiens, "feeling," from sentire, "to discern or perceive by the senses."
1. Capable of perceiving by the senses; conscious.
2. Experiencing sensation or feeling.
I can remember very vividly the first time I became aware of my existence; how for the first time I realised that I was a sentient human being in a perceptible world.
--Lord Berners, First Childhood
Answers to such profound questions as whether we are the only sentient beings in the universe, whether life is the product of random accident or deeply rooted law, and whether there may be some sort of ultimate meaning to our existence, hinge on what science can reveal about the formation of life.
--Paul Davies, The Fifth Miracle
Sentient comes from Latin sentiens, "feeling," from sentire, "to discern or perceive by the senses."
Shooty Arrow Game
Quite astoundingly retro, but still uncommonly good. Can you shoot the other bow-wielding stickman, before he makes you into a black line kebab?
http://www.xeron.org/cosas/bowman/
http://www.xeron.org/cosas/bowman/
Angry Bleak Nursery Rhymes
rage-filled nihilistic reinterpretations of kiddie favourites
http://www.lskerton.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/nursery.html
http://www.lskerton.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/nursery.html
Poo Stories
This week b3ta are doing your stories on poo.
"My cat once ate a 6 foot-long piece of red and green string, which it couldn't completely crap out. There i was, sitting in my living room, and my cat comes running through with about 5 feet of it trailing from its ass. Considering it was around Christmas, she looked rather festive.
"A few years ago when I was at school, we went on a trip to Italy. Someone did a shit in the sink, and when the teacher asked if it looked human, my mate replied 'no sir, it looks like a shit'
"Our dog found a bucket of Artex in the garden. And by the following morning had left perfect white plastercast turds all over the house. They had to be chipped off the floor with a spade."
Read them all here: http://b3ta.com/questions/shitstories/
"My cat once ate a 6 foot-long piece of red and green string, which it couldn't completely crap out. There i was, sitting in my living room, and my cat comes running through with about 5 feet of it trailing from its ass. Considering it was around Christmas, she looked rather festive.
"A few years ago when I was at school, we went on a trip to Italy. Someone did a shit in the sink, and when the teacher asked if it looked human, my mate replied 'no sir, it looks like a shit'
"Our dog found a bucket of Artex in the garden. And by the following morning had left perfect white plastercast turds all over the house. They had to be chipped off the floor with a spade."
Read them all here: http://b3ta.com/questions/shitstories/
Fake holiday reviews
Brilliant!
The idea is to find holiday destinations with double entendre names and write up reviews for their websites. One of our favourites for the Black Cock Inn: "the Black Cock Inn cider is one of my girlfriend's absolute favourites. She says that once you've tried it, nothing else will quite hit the spot again."
http://www.jboom.com/entendre
via b3ta
The idea is to find holiday destinations with double entendre names and write up reviews for their websites. One of our favourites for the Black Cock Inn: "the Black Cock Inn cider is one of my girlfriend's absolute favourites. She says that once you've tried it, nothing else will quite hit the spot again."
http://www.jboom.com/entendre
via b3ta
Hey Hey 16k
Did you use a home computer in the 1980s? Then you have to see your ginger Fuhrer Rob Manuel's new flash video. It's based upon a catchy song by MJ Hibbett which according to Rob, "said something about my youth and made me feel bittersweet nostalgia.
See it here: http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/
via b3ta
See it here: http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/
via b3ta
Come-Backs
"A friend of mine had an argument with his Dad. He called him an 'old bastard'. His Dad replied with, "I would have sexually abused you as a child if you weren’t so fucking ugly.'
"Was out with a woman friend once when this happened. Random bloke, 'Ere, love, sit on me face.' Her, 'Why, is your nose bigger than your penis?'
"I was seven, running around the garden, with a pointy stick. Suddenly my mum starts shouting from the kitchen, 'You'll have your eye out. What are you going to do then?' I replied 'I'll become a pirate mum!', and continued running around.
Read all the stories here: http://b3ta.com/questions/bestcomebacks/
"Was out with a woman friend once when this happened. Random bloke, 'Ere, love, sit on me face.' Her, 'Why, is your nose bigger than your penis?'
"I was seven, running around the garden, with a pointy stick. Suddenly my mum starts shouting from the kitchen, 'You'll have your eye out. What are you going to do then?' I replied 'I'll become a pirate mum!', and continued running around.
Read all the stories here: http://b3ta.com/questions/bestcomebacks/
Cannibal chase game
Have you ever wanted to experience the thrill of being chased by cannibals? NOW AT LAST YOU CAN They are quite small cannibals, but they ululate in a pleasing fashion as they chase you through a little tree maze.
Update: I really should post the url though.
Aha - here it is http://www.netcartoon.net/cannibals/cannibals.php
Update: I really should post the url though.
Aha - here it is http://www.netcartoon.net/cannibals/cannibals.php
Top 17 Programmer's Terminologies
1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
- We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO
THE PROBLEM
- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
- We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to
get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
- The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation
is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it
doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
- I can't wait to hear this bull!
14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
- Come into my office, I'm lonely.
15. ALL NEW
- Code not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
- It finally worked!
17. LOW MAINTENANCE
- Impossible to fix if broken.
- We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO
THE PROBLEM
- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
- We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to
get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
- The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation
is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it
doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
- I can't wait to hear this bull!
14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
- Come into my office, I'm lonely.
15. ALL NEW
- Code not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
- It finally worked!
17. LOW MAINTENANCE
- Impossible to fix if broken.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Canada MPs argue over sex symbol
Canada's parliament, scene of many worthy debates, was plunged into uproar after the alleged mispronunciation of a sexy Italian film actress' name.
Tempers flared when an MP accused an ex-minister of "rubbing shoulders with Gina Lollobreegeeda", reports said.
The apparent mispronunciation prompted Human Resources Minister Joe Volpe to yell: "It's Gina Lollobrigida, idiot!"
Opposition MP Jason Kenney hit back, saying he was sorry for "offending the ageing sex-kitten community".
Mr Volpe later told reporters he too had some regrets over the row.
"I'm sorry I called him an idiot. I should have referred to him as an imbecile," he said.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3694389.stm
Tempers flared when an MP accused an ex-minister of "rubbing shoulders with Gina Lollobreegeeda", reports said.
The apparent mispronunciation prompted Human Resources Minister Joe Volpe to yell: "It's Gina Lollobrigida, idiot!"
Opposition MP Jason Kenney hit back, saying he was sorry for "offending the ageing sex-kitten community".
Mr Volpe later told reporters he too had some regrets over the row.
"I'm sorry I called him an idiot. I should have referred to him as an imbecile," he said.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3694389.stm
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Googlism
A search for me - Adam Phillips - on googlism bring the following results:
adam phillips is a british psycho
adam phillips is a very good player indeed and a top bloke to boot
adam phillips is the lead guitarist and he's is someone to watch out for
adam phillips is an unusual man
adam phillips is fond of what you might call the audacious syllogism
It's all true I tell you!
A search for me - Adam Phillips - on googlism bring the following results:
adam phillips is a british psycho
adam phillips is a very good player indeed and a top bloke to boot
adam phillips is the lead guitarist and he's is someone to watch out for
adam phillips is an unusual man
adam phillips is fond of what you might call the audacious syllogism
It's all true I tell you!
Monday, May 03, 2004
I Don't Like Mondays (except bank holiday Mondays - I like those)
Thank you Boomtown Rats
The silicon chip inside her head.
Gets switched to overload,
And nobody's gonna go to school today,
She's going to make them stay at home,
And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said she was as good as gold,
And he can see no reason.
Cos there are no reasons.
What reason do you need to be shown.
Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.
The Telex machine is kept so clean.
As it types to a waiting world,
And Mother feels so shocked,
Father's world is rocked,
And their thoughts turn to.
Their own little girl.
Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen,
No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat,
They can see no reasons.
Cos there are no reasons.
What reason do you need to be shown,Br.
Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.
All the playing's stopped in the playground now
She wants to play with her toys a while
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die,
And then the bullhorn crackles,
And the captain crackles,
With the problems and the how's and why's
And he can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to die
The silicon chip ...
Tell me why...
Thank you Boomtown Rats
The silicon chip inside her head.
Gets switched to overload,
And nobody's gonna go to school today,
She's going to make them stay at home,
And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said she was as good as gold,
And he can see no reason.
Cos there are no reasons.
What reason do you need to be shown.
Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.
The Telex machine is kept so clean.
As it types to a waiting world,
And Mother feels so shocked,
Father's world is rocked,
And their thoughts turn to.
Their own little girl.
Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen,
No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat,
They can see no reasons.
Cos there are no reasons.
What reason do you need to be shown,Br.
Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.
All the playing's stopped in the playground now
She wants to play with her toys a while
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die,
And then the bullhorn crackles,
And the captain crackles,
With the problems and the how's and why's
And he can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to die
The silicon chip ...
Tell me why...
Bibles
I fear that buying two more old Bibles at Sunday's car boot sale means I now have a collection of Bibles.
According to www.dictionary.com a collection is "several things grouped together ".
The definition for "several" yields "Being of a number more than two or three but not many"
and finally, the definition of "many" is "Amounting to or consisting of a large indefinite number"
So, what have we learned? A collection is more than two or three things, but not as much as a large indefinite number. Thanks for that.
I fear that buying two more old Bibles at Sunday's car boot sale means I now have a collection of Bibles.
According to www.dictionary.com a collection is "several things grouped together ".
The definition for "several" yields "Being of a number more than two or three but not many"
and finally, the definition of "many" is "Amounting to or consisting of a large indefinite number"
So, what have we learned? A collection is more than two or three things, but not as much as a large indefinite number. Thanks for that.
Saturday, May 01, 2004
John Gibson - Twunt
I am so happy I could shit. A google search for "John Gibson Twunt" brings this site as the top result.
I am so happy I could shit. A google search for "John Gibson Twunt" brings this site as the top result.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Word of the Day
heterodox \HET-uh-ruh-doks\, adjective:
1. Contrary to or differing from some acknowledged standard, especially in church doctrine or dogma; unorthodox.
2. Holding unorthodox opinions or doctrines.
They fight with members of other faiths, who seem to challenge their claim to a monopoly of absolute truth; they also persecute their co-religionists for interpreting a tradition differently or for holding heterodox beliefs.
--Karen Armstrong, Islam: A Short History
Most of the Kurds were Sunni Muslims, but perhaps a quarter or a third adhered to heterodox varieties of Islam that preserved traces of earlier religions.
--Susan Meisalis, Kurdistan: In the Shadow of History
Moreover, heterodox behaviour -- in the form of eccentric chess moves -- was even encouraged, if it led to good results.
--Jon Speelman, "Chess," Independent, October 24, 1998
Mr. Buckley is an American exotic of the far right, who wins some sympathy for his frankness and boldness since, in this sorry world, the heterodox are always laughed at whether right or left.
--Richard L. Strout, "All That Is Out of Joint and Needs Setting Right," New York Times, April 28, 1963
Heterodox comes from Greek heterodoxos, "of another opinion, "from hetero-, "other" + doxa, "opinion," from dokein, "to believe."
heterodox \HET-uh-ruh-doks\, adjective:
1. Contrary to or differing from some acknowledged standard, especially in church doctrine or dogma; unorthodox.
2. Holding unorthodox opinions or doctrines.
They fight with members of other faiths, who seem to challenge their claim to a monopoly of absolute truth; they also persecute their co-religionists for interpreting a tradition differently or for holding heterodox beliefs.
--Karen Armstrong, Islam: A Short History
Most of the Kurds were Sunni Muslims, but perhaps a quarter or a third adhered to heterodox varieties of Islam that preserved traces of earlier religions.
--Susan Meisalis, Kurdistan: In the Shadow of History
Moreover, heterodox behaviour -- in the form of eccentric chess moves -- was even encouraged, if it led to good results.
--Jon Speelman, "Chess," Independent, October 24, 1998
Mr. Buckley is an American exotic of the far right, who wins some sympathy for his frankness and boldness since, in this sorry world, the heterodox are always laughed at whether right or left.
--Richard L. Strout, "All That Is Out of Joint and Needs Setting Right," New York Times, April 28, 1963
Heterodox comes from Greek heterodoxos, "of another opinion, "from hetero-, "other" + doxa, "opinion," from dokein, "to believe."
Monday, April 26, 2004
Opinions
Opinions are like assholes - everyone's got one and most of 'em stink.
(By grrwoo, posted on livejournal)
(By grrwoo, posted on livejournal)
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Goodbye George
Bush's press conference - White House transcript
Watched the full magilla last night. Bush was almost certainly to wearing an earpiece and being fed information, which cast "you know, I just -- I'm sure something will pop into my head here" in a whole new light. The poor man was screaming for help. None came.
I also love the new storyline, heralded by former FBI director Louis J Freeh in Monday's Wall Street Journal, that provides new backup for the Iraq/terror 'connection' and also explains Bush's failure to act on pre-911 intelligence.
1. Bush wasn't to blame. It was Al Qaeda flying the planes. So they're reponsible. Obviously. Oh and the UK failed, too. Not that Bush did. Fail, that is. So there. (oh, there's more on this point here if you want it.)
2. Now for the biggie: America wasn't on a war footing then, y'see. America needs to be on a war footing to be able to fight - and prevent - terror. Doesn't matter who the war is with, they just need to be on a war footing. Bush used the phrase 'war footing' five times during this press conference, just to be sure that we got the point. Because, gawrsh darn it, he's simple failed to communimicate it properly before.
I also love this:
"We knew they were hiding things -- a country that hides something is a country that is afraid of getting caught." - George W. Bush
But that's just me thinking out loud. For proper analysis what like the pros do, see that filthy liberal rag, the Washington Post.
Plus, we also have the wonderful news that Bush and Sharon have cooked up a plan that solves the Palestinian problem by ignoring Palestinians. Me, I'm waiting for the speech that goes: "We're not building a road map, we're building a road. And roads need bulldozers!"
Bush's press conference - White House transcript
Watched the full magilla last night. Bush was almost certainly to wearing an earpiece and being fed information, which cast "you know, I just -- I'm sure something will pop into my head here" in a whole new light. The poor man was screaming for help. None came.
I also love the new storyline, heralded by former FBI director Louis J Freeh in Monday's Wall Street Journal, that provides new backup for the Iraq/terror 'connection' and also explains Bush's failure to act on pre-911 intelligence.
1. Bush wasn't to blame. It was Al Qaeda flying the planes. So they're reponsible. Obviously. Oh and the UK failed, too. Not that Bush did. Fail, that is. So there. (oh, there's more on this point here if you want it.)
2. Now for the biggie: America wasn't on a war footing then, y'see. America needs to be on a war footing to be able to fight - and prevent - terror. Doesn't matter who the war is with, they just need to be on a war footing. Bush used the phrase 'war footing' five times during this press conference, just to be sure that we got the point. Because, gawrsh darn it, he's simple failed to communimicate it properly before.
I also love this:
"We knew they were hiding things -- a country that hides something is a country that is afraid of getting caught." - George W. Bush
But that's just me thinking out loud. For proper analysis what like the pros do, see that filthy liberal rag, the Washington Post.
Plus, we also have the wonderful news that Bush and Sharon have cooked up a plan that solves the Palestinian problem by ignoring Palestinians. Me, I'm waiting for the speech that goes: "We're not building a road map, we're building a road. And roads need bulldozers!"
Word of the Day
privation \pry-VAY-shun\, noun:
1. An act or instance of depriving.
2. The state of being deprived of something, especially of something required or desired; destitution; need.
The late Georges Bernanos complained that the isolated labor of writing deprived novelists of essential human contacts. This is, indeed, a bitter and painful privation, even if it is in some instances a temperamental preference of novelists.
--Saul Bellow, "My Man Bummidge," New York Times, September 27, 1964
The Carsons were more often poor than of modest means, and this privation shaped Rachel's opportunities and her personality from the outset.
--Linda Lear, [2]Rachel Carson: Witness for Nature
Poverty had by no means been eliminated, but the extreme privation that had earlier characterized large sections of the country had disappeared.
--Fred Warner Neal, "Yugoslavia at the Crossroads," The Atlantic, December 1962
Privation derives from Latin privatio, from privatus, past participle of privare, "to strip, to deprive of," originally, "to separate from, to put aside, to exempt," from privus, "single, private."
privation \pry-VAY-shun\, noun:
1. An act or instance of depriving.
2. The state of being deprived of something, especially of something required or desired; destitution; need.
The late Georges Bernanos complained that the isolated labor of writing deprived novelists of essential human contacts. This is, indeed, a bitter and painful privation, even if it is in some instances a temperamental preference of novelists.
--Saul Bellow, "My Man Bummidge," New York Times, September 27, 1964
The Carsons were more often poor than of modest means, and this privation shaped Rachel's opportunities and her personality from the outset.
--Linda Lear, [2]Rachel Carson: Witness for Nature
Poverty had by no means been eliminated, but the extreme privation that had earlier characterized large sections of the country had disappeared.
--Fred Warner Neal, "Yugoslavia at the Crossroads," The Atlantic, December 1962
Privation derives from Latin privatio, from privatus, past participle of privare, "to strip, to deprive of," originally, "to separate from, to put aside, to exempt," from privus, "single, private."
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Word of the Day
myrmidon \MUR-muh-don; -duhn\, noun:
1. [Capitalized] A member of a warlike Thessalian people who followed Achilles on the expedition against Troy.
2. A loyal follower, especially one who executes orders without question, protest, or pity.
He risked assassination, torture or... retaliation, the defining signatures of Mr. Milosevic and his ultranationalist myrmidons.
--Bruce Fein, "Follow U.S. war crimes advice?" Washington Times, May 10, 2001
Those who created EMU [(European) Economic and Monetary Union] -- mainly politicians and their myrmidons in the offices and conference rooms of Brussels -- portray a beckoning landscape of wealth, liberty and economic power that will rival the United States and surpass Asia.
--James O. Jackson, "The One-Way Bridge," Time, May 11, 1998
Myrmidon derives from Greek Myrmidones, a warlike people of ancient Thessaly.
myrmidon \MUR-muh-don; -duhn\, noun:
1. [Capitalized] A member of a warlike Thessalian people who followed Achilles on the expedition against Troy.
2. A loyal follower, especially one who executes orders without question, protest, or pity.
He risked assassination, torture or... retaliation, the defining signatures of Mr. Milosevic and his ultranationalist myrmidons.
--Bruce Fein, "Follow U.S. war crimes advice?" Washington Times, May 10, 2001
Those who created EMU [(European) Economic and Monetary Union] -- mainly politicians and their myrmidons in the offices and conference rooms of Brussels -- portray a beckoning landscape of wealth, liberty and economic power that will rival the United States and surpass Asia.
--James O. Jackson, "The One-Way Bridge," Time, May 11, 1998
Myrmidon derives from Greek Myrmidones, a warlike people of ancient Thessaly.
Photshopping - or just plain trickery?
Take a look at the following picture, which I have taken from the US government website on Muslims in America ("We have muslims too, they love it here, don't hate us!") - http://usinfo.state.gov/products/pubs/muslimlife/everyday4.htm
The country flag keyrings are in this order: Oman, Yemen, Bahrain, Egypt, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Mauritania, USA, Plaestine, Qatar, Saudi, Syria, Sudan, Turkey, Tunisia, Somalia, Armenia, Albania.
They would usually be ordered alphabetically, and given the strong ordering I would suggest that they were, before this picture was taken.
It looks as though USA has been swapped for the Oman place, giving it a more prominent effect in the picture. Albania and Armenia have been relegated to the end (Where USA and Yemen should be) and Somalia has been strangely placed at the end out of the way (it should be between Saudi and Syria). But let's forget about Somalia.
Photoshopping anyone?
Take a look at the following picture, which I have taken from the US government website on Muslims in America ("We have muslims too, they love it here, don't hate us!") - http://usinfo.state.gov/products/pubs/muslimlife/everyday4.htm
The country flag keyrings are in this order: Oman, Yemen, Bahrain, Egypt, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Mauritania, USA, Plaestine, Qatar, Saudi, Syria, Sudan, Turkey, Tunisia, Somalia, Armenia, Albania.
They would usually be ordered alphabetically, and given the strong ordering I would suggest that they were, before this picture was taken.
It looks as though USA has been swapped for the Oman place, giving it a more prominent effect in the picture. Albania and Armenia have been relegated to the end (Where USA and Yemen should be) and Somalia has been strangely placed at the end out of the way (it should be between Saudi and Syria). But let's forget about Somalia.
Photoshopping anyone?
The spam story
(That's unsolicited email, not canned meat)
On April 12, 1994, a pair of attorneys in Arizona launched a homemade marketing software program that forever changed the Internet.
Hoping to drum up some business, Laurence Canter dashed off a Perl script that flooded online message boards with an advertisement pitching the legal services of Canter & Siegel, the law firm he ran with his then wife, Martha Siegel.
The response was immediate and harsh, offering one of the loudest signals up to that point that unchecked marketing would not be tolerated in the new medium. Thousands of recipients registered their displeasure, and a new label for the burgeoning business of unsolicited mass Internet advertising was coined.
"Send coconuts and cans of Spam to Cantor & Co.," one outraged Usenet reader wrote amid the uproar that followed the Canter & Siegel message. "(Be sure to drop the can of Spam on its seam first.)"
http://news.com.com/2100-1024_3-5189340.html
(That's unsolicited email, not canned meat)
On April 12, 1994, a pair of attorneys in Arizona launched a homemade marketing software program that forever changed the Internet.
Hoping to drum up some business, Laurence Canter dashed off a Perl script that flooded online message boards with an advertisement pitching the legal services of Canter & Siegel, the law firm he ran with his then wife, Martha Siegel.
The response was immediate and harsh, offering one of the loudest signals up to that point that unchecked marketing would not be tolerated in the new medium. Thousands of recipients registered their displeasure, and a new label for the burgeoning business of unsolicited mass Internet advertising was coined.
"Send coconuts and cans of Spam to Cantor & Co.," one outraged Usenet reader wrote amid the uproar that followed the Canter & Siegel message. "(Be sure to drop the can of Spam on its seam first.)"
http://news.com.com/2100-1024_3-5189340.html
Goodbye George
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article2883.htm
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article2842.htm
A Strategy for Iraq - by John F. Kerry
Transcript of President Bush's press conference
If you're having trouble telling the difference between the two, one carries the the ever-reliable terror/Iraq/terror/Iraq/terror/Iraq mantra, and the other doesn't.
A spokesperson for the Bush administration also took full advantage of the passing of time to set in stone the WMD lie on BBC Radio 4 this morning. Because Saddam had WMDs in the past and the war is now in the past (kind of) she quite happily asserted on more than one occasion that the war was good and proper because 'Saddam had WMDs'
Bush Press Conference - Kevin Drum watched and blogged the press conference live.
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article2883.htm
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article2842.htm
A Strategy for Iraq - by John F. Kerry
Transcript of President Bush's press conference
If you're having trouble telling the difference between the two, one carries the the ever-reliable terror/Iraq/terror/Iraq/terror/Iraq mantra, and the other doesn't.
A spokesperson for the Bush administration also took full advantage of the passing of time to set in stone the WMD lie on BBC Radio 4 this morning. Because Saddam had WMDs in the past and the war is now in the past (kind of) she quite happily asserted on more than one occasion that the war was good and proper because 'Saddam had WMDs'
Bush Press Conference - Kevin Drum watched and blogged the press conference live.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Word of the Day
carom \KAIR-uhm\, noun:
1. A rebound following a collision; a glancing off.
2. A shot in billiards in which the cue ball successively strikes two other balls on the table.
intransitive verb:
1. To strike and rebound; to glance.
2. To make a carom.
transitive verb:
To make (an object) bounce off something; to cause to carom.
The cart smashed into the steep hillside in explosive caroms and bounces, sending billows of dust and rock into the air.
--Ev Ehrlich, Grant Speaks
Three blocks away, in the Rue des Jardiniers, four Moroccan children were kicking a filthy soccer ball up and down the street. It caromed off the parked cars, rolled into the gutter, was kicked again, leaving dirty blotches where it had smacked against the vehicles' fenders.
--Philip Shelby, Gatekeeper
The anger caroms around in our psyches like jagged stones.
--Randall Robinson, Defending the Spirit
Carom derives from obsolete carambole, from Spanish carambola, "a stroke at billiards."
carom \KAIR-uhm\, noun:
1. A rebound following a collision; a glancing off.
2. A shot in billiards in which the cue ball successively strikes two other balls on the table.
intransitive verb:
1. To strike and rebound; to glance.
2. To make a carom.
transitive verb:
To make (an object) bounce off something; to cause to carom.
The cart smashed into the steep hillside in explosive caroms and bounces, sending billows of dust and rock into the air.
--Ev Ehrlich, Grant Speaks
Three blocks away, in the Rue des Jardiniers, four Moroccan children were kicking a filthy soccer ball up and down the street. It caromed off the parked cars, rolled into the gutter, was kicked again, leaving dirty blotches where it had smacked against the vehicles' fenders.
--Philip Shelby, Gatekeeper
The anger caroms around in our psyches like jagged stones.
--Randall Robinson, Defending the Spirit
Carom derives from obsolete carambole, from Spanish carambola, "a stroke at billiards."
Twunt's written a book (all by hisself)
John Gibson
TWUNT!
The leader of the Fox Spews intelligencia has written a book - 'Hating America : The New World Sport'. I say 'written' but it was probably hand-crafted by crayon and construction paper.
This from twunt's Fox Spews site:
I've written a book called "Hating America: The New World Sport" in which I lay out the things the world has been saying about us, behind our backs for the last few years, and how it got so much worse during the run-up to the war and the war itself.
My research shows in Europe and in the Arab world, especially our friends in the so-called Western Alliance, they simply don't trust us anymore. Our former friends are afraid of us, they envy our power, they're jealous and they will spend much more time trying to constrain the United States than anyone ever spent thinking about how to relieve the Iraqi people from Saddam Hussein
Interestingly it's being offered on Amazon in conjunction with a book by another Fox Spews tosser - 'Deliver Us From Evil', for which Publishers Weekly has this glowing Editorial Review:
Conservative Fox Television news host and bestselling author Hannity sees behind the ills of the world one cause: evil. And so Hannity joins the "neocon" chorus, positing that totalitarian regimes, such as Hussein's in Iraq, Hitler's Germany and the former Soviet Union, serve as breeding grounds for evil, thus justifying President Bush's policy of pre-emptive action against countries that could threaten American interests. Despite "irrefutable evidence," Hannity writes, today's liberals inexplicably doubt that "absolute evil truly exists," and instead foolishly cling to the idea that the world's problems might arise from social, psychological and cultural differences or from economic inequality. Fans of Hannity "Christian conservatives in particular"will no doubt embrace this straightforward call to arms. Many readers, however, will find Hannity's "irrefutable" evidence to be anything but, and his selective use of history and circular logic raise far more questions than it settles. Two final chapters examine what Hannity considers to be the dangerous, partisan policies espoused by the current slate of Democratic presidential candidates. For our democracy to survive, Hannity argues, we must root out terrorists and defeat evil totalitarian regimes before they can harm usâ€"a theme that will no doubt play loudly this election season.
John Gibson
TWUNT!
The leader of the Fox Spews intelligencia has written a book - 'Hating America : The New World Sport'. I say 'written' but it was probably hand-crafted by crayon and construction paper.
This from twunt's Fox Spews site:
I've written a book called "Hating America: The New World Sport" in which I lay out the things the world has been saying about us, behind our backs for the last few years, and how it got so much worse during the run-up to the war and the war itself.
My research shows in Europe and in the Arab world, especially our friends in the so-called Western Alliance, they simply don't trust us anymore. Our former friends are afraid of us, they envy our power, they're jealous and they will spend much more time trying to constrain the United States than anyone ever spent thinking about how to relieve the Iraqi people from Saddam Hussein
Interestingly it's being offered on Amazon in conjunction with a book by another Fox Spews tosser - 'Deliver Us From Evil', for which Publishers Weekly has this glowing Editorial Review:
Conservative Fox Television news host and bestselling author Hannity sees behind the ills of the world one cause: evil. And so Hannity joins the "neocon" chorus, positing that totalitarian regimes, such as Hussein's in Iraq, Hitler's Germany and the former Soviet Union, serve as breeding grounds for evil, thus justifying President Bush's policy of pre-emptive action against countries that could threaten American interests. Despite "irrefutable evidence," Hannity writes, today's liberals inexplicably doubt that "absolute evil truly exists," and instead foolishly cling to the idea that the world's problems might arise from social, psychological and cultural differences or from economic inequality. Fans of Hannity "Christian conservatives in particular"will no doubt embrace this straightforward call to arms. Many readers, however, will find Hannity's "irrefutable" evidence to be anything but, and his selective use of history and circular logic raise far more questions than it settles. Two final chapters examine what Hannity considers to be the dangerous, partisan policies espoused by the current slate of Democratic presidential candidates. For our democracy to survive, Hannity argues, we must root out terrorists and defeat evil totalitarian regimes before they can harm usâ€"a theme that will no doubt play loudly this election season.
Inventions By Lazy People
LazyPlates for students
These are plastic plates, coated with many thousands off strong, transparent, peel off layers. Simply eat of the plate as usual (the plastic is strong enough to withstand knife cuts) and when you're done, whip off a layer and bin it! Bingo, no washing up to do! After you've peeled off all the layers, stick on a refill pack, or bin the plate!
Margarine-stick.
Like a pritt-stick, but full of margarine.
So if you're too lazy to get a knife and faff around with the tub, you can still have margarine on your sandwich.
Also, it would be ideal for packed lunches.
Maybe Flora could jump on the dairylea bandwagon, and sell "Flora Lunchables" containing bread, fillings, and a "margarine-stick"
The HedgeHogWatch
A device so simple - it'll make you weep blood, a hedgehog strapped to your wrist - you can now tell the time. If its winter, it's asleep.
Two alarm settings, winter and not-winter. Never be unsure what season you are in again.
Jackets with mirrors, stop lights and indicators.
And people have to use them on crowded streets, to stop them fucking stopping without warning. Bastards.
Square sausages
Sausages that aren't round, requiring you to chase them around the grill/pan and leading to a disparity in the amount of sausage area cooked.
Square profile sausages would cure this in an instant
LazyPlates for students
These are plastic plates, coated with many thousands off strong, transparent, peel off layers. Simply eat of the plate as usual (the plastic is strong enough to withstand knife cuts) and when you're done, whip off a layer and bin it! Bingo, no washing up to do! After you've peeled off all the layers, stick on a refill pack, or bin the plate!
Margarine-stick.
Like a pritt-stick, but full of margarine.
So if you're too lazy to get a knife and faff around with the tub, you can still have margarine on your sandwich.
Also, it would be ideal for packed lunches.
Maybe Flora could jump on the dairylea bandwagon, and sell "Flora Lunchables" containing bread, fillings, and a "margarine-stick"
The HedgeHogWatch
A device so simple - it'll make you weep blood, a hedgehog strapped to your wrist - you can now tell the time. If its winter, it's asleep.
Two alarm settings, winter and not-winter. Never be unsure what season you are in again.
Jackets with mirrors, stop lights and indicators.
And people have to use them on crowded streets, to stop them fucking stopping without warning. Bastards.
Square sausages
Sausages that aren't round, requiring you to chase them around the grill/pan and leading to a disparity in the amount of sausage area cooked.
Square profile sausages would cure this in an instant
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Word of the Day
bailiwick \BAY-luh-wik\, noun:
1. A person's specific area of knowledge, authority, interest, skill, or work.
2. The office or district of a bailiff.
I'll give it a try, but this is not my bailiwick.
--Sue Grafton, 'L' Is for Lawless
He "professed ignorance, as of something outside my bailiwick."
--Marc Aronson, "Wharton and the House of Scribner: The Novelist as a Pain in the Neck," New York Times, January 2, 1994
Fund-raising was Cliff's bailiwick, anyway, and he seemed to have it in hand.
--Curt Sampson, The Masters
Bailiwick comes from Middle English baillifwik, from baillif, "bailiff" (ultimately from Latin bajulus, "porter, carrier") + wik, "town," from Old English wic, from Latin vicus, "village."
bailiwick \BAY-luh-wik\, noun:
1. A person's specific area of knowledge, authority, interest, skill, or work.
2. The office or district of a bailiff.
I'll give it a try, but this is not my bailiwick.
--Sue Grafton, 'L' Is for Lawless
He "professed ignorance, as of something outside my bailiwick."
--Marc Aronson, "Wharton and the House of Scribner: The Novelist as a Pain in the Neck," New York Times, January 2, 1994
Fund-raising was Cliff's bailiwick, anyway, and he seemed to have it in hand.
--Curt Sampson, The Masters
Bailiwick comes from Middle English baillifwik, from baillif, "bailiff" (ultimately from Latin bajulus, "porter, carrier") + wik, "town," from Old English wic, from Latin vicus, "village."
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Ice sculptures
The temperature in Harbin reaches forty below zero, both farenheit and centigrade, and stays below freezing nearly half the year. The city is actually further north than notoriously cold Vladivostok, Russia, just 300 miles away. So what does one do here every winter? Hold an outdoor festival, of course! Rather than suffer the cold, the residents of Harbin celebrate it, with an annual festival of snow and ice sculptures and competitions. This is the amazing sculpture made of snow greeting visitors to the snow festival in 2003.
Amazing Pictures
The temperature in Harbin reaches forty below zero, both farenheit and centigrade, and stays below freezing nearly half the year. The city is actually further north than notoriously cold Vladivostok, Russia, just 300 miles away. So what does one do here every winter? Hold an outdoor festival, of course! Rather than suffer the cold, the residents of Harbin celebrate it, with an annual festival of snow and ice sculptures and competitions. This is the amazing sculpture made of snow greeting visitors to the snow festival in 2003.
Amazing Pictures
Breasts
According to a poll on the BBC site about 73% of voters believe the Scum should keep page three girls.
According to a poll on the BBC site about 73% of voters believe the Scum should keep page three girls.
Quote
I just found this great quote on the site Aldermaston2004
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
- Martin Luther King JR
I just found this great quote on the site Aldermaston2004
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
- Martin Luther King JR
Thesaurus Word of the Day
| Entry: | shirk |
| Function: | verb |
| Definition: | avoid |
| Synonyms: | bypass, cheat, creep, dodge, dog, dog it, duck, elude, eschew, evade, featherbed, fence, flub, flub off, fluff off, get around, goldbrick, goof off, gumshoe, lurk, malinger, parry, pussyfoot, quit, shuffle off, shun, sidestep, skulk, slack, slink, slip, sluff off, snake, sneak, steal |
Word of the Day
malinger \muh-LING-guhr\, intransitive verb:
To feign or exaggerate illness or inability in order to avoid duty or work.
Because he twice slapped battle-stressed soldiers in Sicily who, he thought, were merely malingering, he was denied a major command in the Normandy landings.
--Bernard Knox, "Scorched Earth," New York Times, November 14, 1999
It is impossible to determine exactly what inspired Mary's various symptoms, but her own and other family members' letters suggest that her suffering may have been a combination of hypochondria, conscious histrionics and malingering, and unconscious rebellion against her father.
--Caroline Fraser, God's Perfect Child
My specialty is subjecting the data I obtain to successive mathematical corrective formulas to filter the truly psychotic from those who are malingering.
--Barbara Kirwin, Ph.D, The Mad, the Bad, and the Innocent
Malinger derives from French malingre, "sickly," perhaps from Old French mal, "badly" + heingre, "lean, thin."
malinger \muh-LING-guhr\, intransitive verb:
To feign or exaggerate illness or inability in order to avoid duty or work.
Because he twice slapped battle-stressed soldiers in Sicily who, he thought, were merely malingering, he was denied a major command in the Normandy landings.
--Bernard Knox, "Scorched Earth," New York Times, November 14, 1999
It is impossible to determine exactly what inspired Mary's various symptoms, but her own and other family members' letters suggest that her suffering may have been a combination of hypochondria, conscious histrionics and malingering, and unconscious rebellion against her father.
--Caroline Fraser, God's Perfect Child
My specialty is subjecting the data I obtain to successive mathematical corrective formulas to filter the truly psychotic from those who are malingering.
--Barbara Kirwin, Ph.D, The Mad, the Bad, and the Innocent
Malinger derives from French malingre, "sickly," perhaps from Old French mal, "badly" + heingre, "lean, thin."
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